6 Things that helped me enJOY vacation with an almost 2 year old

We recently spent 5 days traveling to Washington D.C. as a family. It was awesome. Auh-mazing. I'm grateful for the memories we created. I look forward to posting highlights soon.

But, there were plenty of bumps in the road. Our family is entering some new territory with the ages of kiddos. My older ones are like sponges ready to take in these awesome experiences. Up to this point, we've kept much of our travel close and simple - often centered around what works for the youngest child. This was the first time we chose a trip with the primary focus around our older kiddos. And with that shift, there was a juggle of balance. Would I still enjoy it? Would I feel like I was missing out on experiences? Would I be stressed/anxious or grouchy the whole time? Because let's be honest. Taking a one-almost-two year old anywhere is chaotic. She is a joy. A hot mess. And everything in-between.

And let's just say there were a lot of tantrums. I, and probably every surrounding passenger around me, couldn't wait to get off the airplane on our way there. The two most memorable meltdowns were:

• Finishing an awesome trip through Arlington Cemetery - when she realized her older sister was on her dad's shoulders, and that she needed to be the one there. Screaming to get out of the stroller and then running downhill only to trip and land on her forehead. Which then of course resulted in more crying/screaming. Only to look up and see that her sister was STILL on dad's shoulders. Oh, the tears in an otherwise silent surrounding. And by silent, I don't mean empty. The walkways were chuck full of tour groups - from high schools to seniors. Let's just say she and I had a very brisk trot to the visitors center.
• I chuckle thinking back to the Smithsonian Art Museum. While it was one of my favorite places, it was also a bit of a circus act as the hubs and I tag teamed her with the other three kiddos. Turns out it's a little tough for her to comprehend that you actually can't touch anything inside the whole museum. Except the kids section in the museum gift shop. Where we totally caved and bought her the cutest singing bird stuffed animal.

Between the crazy, there was joy. Her wonder at the simplicity of something I probably would have otherwise overlooked. At George Washington's mill she loved feeling the stones the building was made of and kept pointing at them in awe. At the memorials, she loved watching the water fountains. They were so calming.

It was a joy to watch the connection she made with her siblings. Sure, they live together, but experiencing new things pulled them closer. I loved that uninterrupted bonding time.

I made this list as a way to remind myself that there actually were things that helped (maybe it was all coincidental, but I'm going to go with the idea that they helped prevent at least some unknown tantrums). Whether these things happened independently or together, I felt more mindful, aware and present.

Six things I found helpful to shift my focus to enJOYing vacation with my almost two year old:

1. Keep expectations low. Sounds obvious, but the less I expected of her, the less surprised I was when she had a melt down. I felt more grounded and calm instead of frustrated and hot. And I enjoyed her happy moments without holding onto the burden of a 'stress hangover.'
2. Set the stage. My little one isn't much of a talker at this point, but boy, she understands a lot. I tried to talk as much as I could to her, and I feel like it helped. It was fun to have her point to things she knew and recognized (trees, birds, ducks, flags) when she might not be able to grasp something the older kids were enjoying. I found I captured more as well.
3. Pack familiar food/snacks. This was so helpful. I actually threw a bunch of snacks I knew she liked in our suitcase for us to use the whole trip. It was so handy to pull something out she was familiar with (every day) and let her munch. And let's be honest, I'm cranky if I'm hungry too.
4. Pack a bag of tricks for the airplane. I feel like all kids respond a little differently, but with Abby (at 22 months) - she loved stickers, coloring with markers (we used the Color Wonder Crayola ones), window gel clings, new snacks, lipgloss and books. She had ZERO interest in pretty much everything else.
5. Be patient. And as hard as this can be, I found by putting myself in her shoes instead of asking why she was behaving a certain way helped me realize she might be tired, overstimulated, something might be bothering her (too much noise), or she simply doesn't know how to express her emotions. Pausing, breathing and trying to understand where she might be coming from helped me feel calmer.
6. Smile. At her, at the hubs, at the kids. Because making memories isn't about a perfect picture or a perfect moment. Often it's the messy moments or the ones that don't go as planned that can turn into the most beautiful of adventures.