As a mom to four kids, I realize this more and more every day:
I have four extremely different humans.
And as much as their uniqueness makes them magnificent, some of those quirks are a little interesting to navigate. Especially from an 18 month old.
Her most recent quirk has been ongoing (since birth), but now with legs that toddle and an independent mindset, her quirk has intensified.
It began with the choice to take the two littles on an adventure to a local museum. Develop those fine and large motors skills, and change up the scenery. Upon entering the museum, I expected to chase after her, to pick her up when she fell, to fix shoes, and give her lots of hugs when she didn't understand sharing. I expected she'd cry when she was hungry or frustrated.
I didn't expect the element of surprise. When curiosity, quirks and determination combine into a perfect storm. My expectations would soon be replaced with the actual task of prying my 18 month old off of strangers' laps.
Specifically male strangers.
Since birth, this gal has gravitated toward males over ALL females (minus yours truly). Any thought of an adult female reaching to touch her and she'll give the loudest cry/head throw back/stiff body she can muster. Yet an adult male? She loves to snuggle, giggle and laugh (side note: my husband loves this about her. He wins over me - unless it's food related. I've nicknamed myself the "food lady").
In her mind, she saw the museum as a welcome opporutnity for loads of laps and legs to climb on. Which meant I had the task of awkwardly invading personal bubble space as I pried her off of these laps.
Since I felt the need to say something as I grabbed her, I said everything from "oh, she's in a funny phase right now" (Let me just reach over you and grab her off of your lap) to "she is really fascinated with climbing. ha ha. looks like she likes to climb onto laps." (As I swoop down to pry her off) to "she really likes strangers" (Who says that?!)
Slightly embarrassing?
Not too bad. At least not until I pull her close and she does the head flail/stiff body/scream as-if-I'm-the-stranger cry. That's kinda uncomfortable to explain, and in that moment the room temperature feels like it increased 10 degrees. Okay 20 degrees. (mental note to self: always wear short sleeves for any future museum trips).
The reactions were all over the map. Everything from a polite fake laugh, "ha ha, kids are funny" (crinkled eyebrows) to "Oh!" (as he tries to put her down) to complete annoyance. Granted the annoyed guy was probably a bit justified as his daughter was already on his lap, and my daughter climbed on the other knee and immediately tried pushing her off. Or, the super-uncomfortable-my-wife-is-sitting-next-to-me-and-you-are-way-too-close-and-invading-my-personal-bubble-crazy-lady look with no words.
That one was a little awkward.
The funny thing is, every time she did it, I mindlessly thought we were "done" with that awkward moment, and she'd want to focus on the exhibits. Parenting is so funny. We actually think we can predict the future.
Each time I was surprised as the first that she'd actually attempted another lap climb. I wasn't distracted, I wasn't sitting in a corner, but I was literally standing right next to her every time. Would say something to my four year old, would bend down to grab a toy and she took any opportunity to sprint. While each lap climb became a bit funnier to me, the room kept getting hotter, and I was a whole mix of emotions.
As I realized this was now her 'adventure', I actually found myself trying to redirect my four year old away from any potential exhibits that may have a lap prospect "Oh hon! Let's not go over there today, it's probably not very fun..." to "Oops! Looks like this area is full!" Anything.
In those mindless and somewhat frantic moments, I learn something more about myself. How to breathe. How to relax a little and laugh instead of cry. How to recognize this completely separate human has such unbelievable trust and love in a world that is so very different from where she came from. How much I want to keep her safe and innocent so she can embrace life with trust and not hold herself back. How much I feel the burden of peeling the layers of the reality of the world with the innocence and pure love of her spirit. How much I proactively hold that burden as I want her to learn tools for safety so she is prepared. How grateful I am to know that God will be with me every step of the way.
I'm often blown away at how many emotions motherhood creates almost instantaneously. I have no doubt it is from the Lord. I have no doubt it is tool to enable us to learn and grow. May I remember this experience to choose to live and embrace the moments of today. Because laughing is definitely more fun than stressing.
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