The Center of Connection

*Posted originally on strongandmindful

“Little by little, a little becomes a lot.” –Tanzanian Proverb

There is a story about an expert who chooses to teach college students about time management using a jar, rocks, pebbles, sand, and water. If he began with the water, sand or pebbles, he would not have room left in the jar for the big rocks. But, if he began with the big rocks, the smaller pebbles, sand and water would fill in-between the remaining space.

What if the ‘big rocks’ in the jar represented connections that mattered most? What if we were mindful of the ‘big rocks’ in each day? What would change?

To find answers, I chose to recreate this analogy.

To me, the jar represents one day. In essence, we begin our practice of each day with an empty jar.

To me, the rocks represent Christ. He is the center and the root of connection. He is the center and root of love. The ‘rocks’ are opportunities for me to strengthen my connection to Him and feel of His love.

I used colorful beads and stones to represent life. Responsibilities, tasks, urgent matters, thoughts, emotions, distractions – they include everything and anything in a day.

On my first attempt, I placed each type separately into the jar to create a day where tasks in life are viewed unrelated to one another. The colorful beads came first, then the stones. I found myself trying to make the rocks fit because they ‘should’ go in the jar. With some effort, I fit many rocks, but never all of the rocks I wanted. The second attempt, I chose what ‘must’ go in the jar first. I fit all of the rocks, then added most of the beads and stones.

What I learned:

• When I choose to view life as individual, unconnected actions, I find myself trying to fit in rocks because I ‘should.’ They are an afterthought as I lose sight of the bigger picture. It is a constant struggle to try to ‘fit it all in.’ I feel as if I am never doing enough. I feel like I am never enough.
• When I choose to focus on what I ‘must’ do to strengthen my connection with Christ, I place the rocks in first. This both grounds me and shifts my perspective. I see how the beads and stones of life connect to the rocks. Likewise, I see how the rocks support the stones and beads. Everything is connected. I am enough.
• Separating ‘should’ from ‘must’ is essential.
• When I place the rocks in first, I am unable to fit ALL of the colorful stones and beads. It actually feels okay to let go of smaller thoughts/actions/behaviors to create space for what matters most.
• To me, the colorful beads and stones represent that often, the smaller things seem more fun. They are bold, full of variety, and stimulate my mind. They feel exciting. They are man made.
• To me, at first glance, the rocks seem less glamorous. But with deeper reflection, they are truly beautiful and full of joy. They have been created by God.
• While the rocks comprise a large amount of space in the jar, they took less time place in the jar. To me, while the ‘rocks’ of life must be placed with intention, they are often small and simple.
• The process from the first to the second attempt is messy. To me, this represents that each day is imperfect. Sometimes the ‘rocks’ will fit with simplicity. Other days, it is much harder. But the real beauty is in the attempts. The awareness. The trying. The failing. The learning. The growing.
• Adding water to the jar represents the Living Water. As we turn our focus toward the ‘big rocks’, we see and feel Christ filling the gaps and making us whole. He loves ALL of us. He has atoned for us. It is our choice to use His Living Water.

Asking myself not only what the rocks represent, but asking how and why creating space for them each day increases awareness. It doesn’t mean everything must fit perfectly for connections to strengthen. Instead, it’s the journey of practice. As each ‘jar’ is imperfect and unique, I am grateful for the journey of practice each day –  to fail, learn, grow and try again toward strengthening connection to what matters most.

“We are what we repeatedly do.” -Aristotle