As a mom, I've also learned to recognize that these imaginative expectations rarely seem to pan out the way they had been anticipated. Someone comes down with the flu, someone is actually terrified of fireworks, or the water is just too cold (and, according to Alexis, why would you actually squirt someone with a squirt gun when you can just water the plants? A little less thrilling, especially for her older brother who'd love to engage in a complete knock down drag out squirt gun battle in the back yard, complete with multiple stations to reload).
And, I really think that is what the joy of parenting is about. Learning to enjoy the reality and not the expectation. Learning to recognize how awesome the present is, and not some imagined future that doesn't exist. Molding and jumping into the moment that seems to always be full of surprises.
Our trip to Utah was one of those times where I'd just pictured things going a little differently.
Back in January, Mike and I looked at our budget for the upcoming year and decided we'd fly to Utah to see family. We thought it was great timing - Tayler would be 1 (still free), and it'd be less painful to get there quicker. Plus, we thought the kids would love flying!
Excited to tell the kids about our new plan, our dinner conversation went like this:
Mike: "Hey guys, you know how we go to Utah every year to visit family?"
Max & Alexis: "Yep! It's so fun!"
Mike: "Well, we think it would be really fun to fly on an airplane this year! So, instead of driving in the car for a whole day, we can get there quicker, and you'll get to be in an airplane!"
(Here's where anyone would anticipate kids cheering. Or eyes big with excitement. Or even smiling.)
Instead, we heard this:
Max: "What?!? Why would we fly to Utah when we can drive?"
Mike (looking at me with the same surprised face that I must have): "Well, we'd get there quicker! And you'll get to go to the airport."
Max: "No. Nope. Not a good idea. Driving is so much better. We get to eat snacks, bring all of the games we like, you wake us up super early, we get to stop at gas stations..."
Alexis (totally jumps on the Max bandwagon): "Uh, no airplane dad." (with two thumbs down)
Me: "But airplanes are cool. And we'll get there quicker. (Clearly Mike and I had no rebuttal prepared for this. Falling back to the main reason why people fly, what else would you say as a selling point?)
Max: "No way. We can't pack hardly anything. And you have to sit at the airport for a loooong* time. And I wanted to see Wyoming** again."
(*True. The one time Max flew, he and Alexis did sit at the airport for a looong time. We were flying to Minnesota - the first time - when our plane had a mechanical problem, and we had to turn back around. We then spent the whole day trying to book another flight outta there.)
((**Really?!? Anyone who's driven it will agree with me on this.))
Me: I changed the subject.
Mike and I thought Max would change his mind once the new idea settled in. But, he was relentless. For a solid TWO WEEKS, he managed to point out all the reasons why driving was so much better. And Alexis stuck with it too. Every time she heard the conversation of the airplane, she immediately motioned two thumbs down, and then giggled. His reasons were so clear, he could have presented them in a power point presentation.
Our expectation had turned into reality. Instead of happy faces ready to fly, we had kiddos who liked the journey. Listening to them, I realized that while vacation for Mike and I started at the destination, their vacation started the minute we pulled out of the driveway. And those little stops we made, the games we played, the stuff they got to bring, was part of it.
Go figure.
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