Georgia Beginnings

For the first time since moving into our new home, I find myself sitting down and seeing glimpses of how we've been turning this house into a home the last 9 or so days. We are so grateful for the opportunity we have to create a life for our family here. Transitioning a house into a home can sometimes feel overwhelming, but it also has moments and rhythms that have become a bit familiar to us.

These past nine days our intention has centered on: logistics, exploration, traditions and connections.

Logistics - I set a personal goal to unbox our house as quickly as possible. The quicker I could complete the "macro" portion the quicker we could start creating systems and routines that work as far as the ins and outs of everyday life. This was the first time we've moved without a toddler, and we found the unpacking process to go much quicker (ha!). We still have a ways to go with the order, but it will happen as it needs to. Alexis was a champ with helping me unpack the entire kitchen and offered loads of ideas for where things could go. The kids took full ownership over the pantry unpacking. And this time, we had the kids unpack the majority of their rooms themselves. Overall, while some kids definitely enjoyed unpacking more than others (some found it to be painstakingly boring), working with them and setting small goals and continual check-ins suited much better than sounding like a broken record. And they had the satisfaction of taking their space from a pile of boxes into something that felt much more familiar.

Exploration - we've tried to balance in moments of exploring and learning more about where we live. Whether it's taking a different route home from the store or planning an outing somewhere, the exploring helps imprint both familiarity and memories in the mind.

Traditions - slowing down enough to keep up on the small and simple traditions is huge for keeping us all centered on what matters most and not be so overwhelmed with the "to do" list. They are extremely simple, but foundational for the rhythm of our family culture. Family dinner, a few moments to share what we are grateful for, a few minutes discussing scriptures, praying together, our weekly dinner out/movie at home and ice cream - all of these small traditions have held the space of familiar within all of the change. The tradition of Mike blessing our home invited the sweetest feeling of peace.

Connections - this one is definitely a learned skill for me that I'm trying to always get better at, but proactively reaching out and setting up times to connect with others is something we've done this past week. And while my brain tried to convince me to cancel and get back to the "to do" list, it turns out those times connecting with others has been the exact thing to fuel the soul. I've been trying to get better at intentionally connecting with the kids (and not just working on projects all of the time - an easy way to buffer all of the chaos). So when I set up the slip n slide waterslide (it's not actually called that, but that's what I remember calling them as a kid!), rather than jumping back into the house to get more done, I stayed with them, and of course they convinced me to just start sliding with them (which turned out to be so fun!). Or when they really want to play a card game, or show me their latest magic trick, or listen to them read something they love, or to tell me that they miss Florida, or that they don't know how things are going to work out - those are the moments all of this is really about. And slowing enough to listen, love and hold space for them is the exact kind of connecting we want to create. 

The photos over this time have been a bit random and sporadic - some moments completely missed for sure, but these catch glimpses of Georgia life we've been starting together. 

 Abigail loved the hotel room. She kept commenting on how close everything was - like she could hardly walk and would already be at the bathroom. She found it so convenient. After our second night in the house, I asked how she slept and she said how much she really loved it. She then said "mom, can we stay at this hotel another night?!" I chuckled and told her this was our home and we'd stay here a long time. She laughed and said, "mom you're so funny! This is just a bigger hotel! Our house is in Florida!" It took her a few more days before she settled into the idea that this really is "home." Love how those minds work!

 A fun outdoor piano we found at a park near our hotel.

 A cool "ninja warrior" park we found.

 Checking out the Chattahoochee!

 Visiting dad at work!

 Hiking Kennesaw Mountain!

 Trees. Loved this one!

 Enjoying a bbq with some amazingly kind co-workers.

 The girls checking out a park and loving the tire swing.

 The pantry "before" photo.

 The empty house and boxes!

 The moving truck!

 Max on his last day of basketball camp - he found out about camp the night before it started, and while I wanted to hold off on juggling driving him, we are so grateful we had him do it! He had a great experience, learned A TON, and on the last day actually won the Coaches Award - the Coaches honored him by sharing how he really stuck out to them with how hard he worked, how he took action on anything they suggested and how he asked questions to better himself - and then applied whatever he learned. So so cool.

 More unpacking.

 Creative time together (we had no internet for the first few days)!

 The mound of boxes!

 This awesome tree was in full bloom the day we moved in, and I found it so welcoming. It has the biggest bees on it we've ever seen and I look forward to soaking in it's beauty again and again!

Feeding South Florida

Yesterday, Max, Alexis, Tayler and I were able to participate in a food-sorting shift for Feeding South Florida.

The car-ride out was full of voices like "when will we get there?" and "how long will this take?" and I wasn't really sure how it'd all pan out.

But the moment we stepped in the building, we were blown away with the small part we were going to play in a very large orchestra of goodness.

The three hours flew by. We loved doing it side by side 100 other folks, and so grateful for the large group of folks from our church that came together. Having the opportunity to lead these service opportunities, while I must say often feels overwhelming and difficult being so new to the area, has actually been a huge, fulfilling gift. Theres' something so magical about uniting together with the purpose of helping one another and helping others that completely connects us in deeper, more meaningful ways.

The car ride home was filled with a new sound - perspective.

To think a little more about how we can continually contribute. To think a little more about the needs of those right around us. To think a little more about what we can let go of in order to give. The principle of service is something we are continually striving to teach, learn and grow from. This experience definitely added a drop in that bucket.

16

I have much to catch up on with our adventures this summer, but I must take a moment to write a few thoughts while they are fresh on my mind.

Today, Mike and I celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary and have known one another for over 18 years.

This past weekend we were able to spend a big portion of our time with the youth ages 14-18 from our church. Admittedly, Mike was just coming back from being out of town, and prior to that the kids and I had just gotten back in town from our summer trip to Utah (more on that later), and there was part of us hoping for a quiet weekend. But the bigger part of us knew that spending time doing things that fulfill others ultimately fulfills and strengthens us and so we embraced it. Mike was there for the entire conference and was able to hang out and connect with a group of awesome youth. Funny enough, on his first night there, he looked across the room and recognized one of the youth from our Nebraska congregation! It turns out he and his brother were attending conference while in town visiting some family friends. What a small world!

I had been asked to help out with the planning, prep and serving of the food. My main meal was on Saturday afternoon and it was a "prep" meal for the etiquette dinner they were planning to have that night. It was a 5 course lunch - where the youth practiced and learned the ropes for the upcoming dinner. And while part of me had been hoping for an "easy" lunch like deli sandwiches, chips and a cookie, I learned a ton in the planning process of a five course meal, and was super grateful for all those who stepped in to help prep the food! We had salad, rolls, tomato soup (made from scratch by a dear friend who was happy to take on this task!), grilled cheese sandwiches, green beans and brownies. All of the food was meant to be practiced with proper cutting and handling of a fork, spoon and knife, and was meant to be simple. The trickiest part of the meal was that everything needed to be prepared ahead of time and kept warm. But, thanks to lots of great ideas from folks, a whole bunch of crockpots and prepping ahead of time, it went off without a hitch!

As we finished loading the car and I was leaving to pick up the kiddos (who'd been playing at a friends home while we were at the conference), Mike was headed back over to continue serving the capacity he'd been asked. And while I was tired and ready to head home, I couldn't help but pause with gratitude as I looked around.

I find if I am still and listen, nature - specifically trees - seem to speak with wisdom. The shapes, the sounds, the unique characteristics of each one connect to life in so many ways. I love how trees differ in the regions of the county we've been able to live. Since moving to South Florida, I find myself captivated by the big trees and wonder at what intense tropical storms and hurricanes they have survived. Oh the stories they must hold.

Which brings be back to the parking lot. As Mike was walking away, he was parallel to these beautiful Oaks. Moss and small plants growing throughout them, full of shade, and green with life. The parking lot was built around them in order for them to maintain their natural state and beauty. They stood so tall and clustered together in a way that clearly strengthened the whole. Standing under them, you could feel a noticeable temperature drop from the strong Florida summer sun, and the sound of the leaves as the coastal winds softly blew was calming for the whole soul.

In that moment I had a profound connection. So simple, yet it brought tears of gratitude and clarity to my eyes.

I soaked in the beauty of these oaks - the life they have seen pass around them, the strength of their roots to stand tall against the forces of winds, how they continually reached upward toward the light that strengthens them, how they give what they can to benefit the world around them, how their small and simple actions have compounded over time to represent lasting growth, how they are always growing but never seemed rushed and stand still with the present moment - and I saw Mike and our equal partnership in the same light.

Don't get me wrong. I am fully aware that Mike and I are not trees.

May our children know that the principles and wisdom in that moment reminded me of what we strive for in our marriage and commitment to one another - to lean into one another, to lean into and trust God and His plan beyond our own. This path has brought us much more strength and joy than ever trying to stand alone. We have felt the light of Christ strengthen our marriage in ways that simply could not have happened on our own. We are full of weaknesses, but know fully that together, with Christ, we are stronger. As we've embarked on challenges and unexpected changes that life brings - we've chosen to dig into our roots, to grow where were stand, and it's something we hope and strive to continue. To prioritize and focus on lasting growth and let go of what no longer serves us. To create space for learning and expanding our roots or branches. To mend what's broken. To connect and work together. May our children know that it's the small and simple actions where we grow and learn from the most.

Standing in the parking lot, and in the days since, I've felt an abundance of gratitude for walking this journey and adventure with Mike. It was no coincidence that a secretary to a men's college basketball coach and a basketball player would be brought together. Our journey together has been an adventure where we've strengthened our roots together as we've moved through four states, one foreign country and the times and seasons of four children in our home and countless other experiences. May our children remember that as we strive to focus on what matters most more than what matters much. And seeing the beauty of these trees gave me confidence that for Mike and I, our now small trees will continue to grow and expand in ways we've yet to imagine.

To an eternal abundance of learning and growth together - Happy Anniversary, hon.

Principles of Truth: Forgiveness

Sometimes you're standing in the kitchen and you hear a noise that you really don't want to hear. Sunday night, at the end of a fantastic Mother's Day, I heard one of those sounds.

A reeaallly large crash. Followed by an "uh oh."

I've learned, through loads of error, that it doesn't help to react in the situation. And I've also learned, that in order to respond, I must allow myself a moment to breathe before discovering the noise. As there were no hysterical screams or cries for immediate help, I knew this crash was fully object- related and no human being was damaged in the process. So I took full advantage of a few breaths before rounding the corner.

As I made the turn, I found my most favorite painting in a jumble on the floor. The frame was smashed and in pieces on the floor, and a child-who-will-not-be-named was wide-eyed with sorrow. It had been a complete accident. This favorite image rested on top of a heavily used bookcase, and unknowingly, the bookcase had shifted away from the wall just enough that a vibration from the doors closing a bit too hard knocked the picture to the ground.

This kiddo was crushed. She knew how much I loved that picture (I reference it often), and felt like this action might be unforgivable.

But of course it was.

Later that night, well after we'd put everyone down for bed, this kiddo came downstairs to discover I was trying to figure out how to fix what had been broken. At the time I hadn't found a solution, and needed to think on it.

And then this kiddo said, "are you sure you forgive me?"

And I said, "of course I do. Things are things. What matters most is you."

Then this kiddo burst into more tears, needed more hugs, and I realized a small teaching moment. This kiddo was buried in feelings that I can relate to in so many ways - negative self-talk. Shame. Perfectionism. The feeling that she wasn't enough. The worry that forgiveness eventually runs out.

The truth is, I'd forgiven this kiddo before I even left the kitchen.

But she needed to be heard. Her worries needed to be spoken. Her concerns needed to be validated back into truth. The process created space in her mind for truth. To let go of beating herself up for doing something "wrong" and to realize the journey of life isn't about "not making mistakes."  Because we all will. The real journey is in how we respond. What we choose to do. Where we choose to look. How we choose to move forward.

Our simple little chat about forgiving ourselves was the first principle of truth. And here's where the real beauty of this moment came in. The picture that had been broken was this one:

The One who is always there.
Hand outstretched and ready to lift us where we stand.
Always willing to forgive.
All we need to do is look up and ask.

Beautiful.

The frame is glued and is back in it's proper spot as a central image in our home. Full of so much more meaning than it ever had before.

Books

Oh goodness, it seems like there is always a book I am looking forward to reading. It seems like I find myself listening to one book while reading another. I try to soak in learning within those pockets of the day.

The evening slot is the most consistent wind down and read time for us. About six years ago, Mike and I made the conscious choice to cut cable TV, and we've never regretted it. While it's been a gradual process of "letting go" of shows we used to watch, it's been more about shifting and redirecting our habits. Intentionally choosing habits we want to develop rather than letting time pass.

One of the most influential books we read centered on habits, and how they can intentionally or unintentionally design our life is "The Power of Habit." Reading that in conjunction with "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" was huge for giving us tools and ideas to really think about our everyday habits - where they were taking us and what we could do about it. There are notes all over those two books, and are some we go back to consistently.

And we're big believers in the keystone habit of keeping phones charging in the kitchen at night, but that's probably a post for itself on another day.

Back to books.

These are two books I've read recently that I've loved. The kinds of books I keep pondering and going back to. The kinds of books I find myself striving to apply wisdom from.

The first one is “The Vanishing American Adult” by Ben Sasse:

I listened to this one on audible, and found myself repeating chapters. It's one I think I'd probably love to get a hard copy of at some point so I can mark it up, but until then, it was wonderful to listen to something mindful while catching up on mindless tasks. So many principles in here just spoke to us (I talked about it so much Mike listened to it too!), and we found ourselves connecting and relating to so much. I loved the background/history of resilience across America, and how it has evolved, often unintentionally over the generations. But even more, I loved the strategies for creating something different than what is. For the importance of family, of work, of change, of creating space for resilience, of letting kids fail and struggle, of readapting age old techniques into today's culture. And let’s not forget, I loved the connections to Nebraska. So beautiful.

The second one I've loved reading was “Braving the Wilderness” by Brene Brown. 

I actually read it last fall, just as we'd moved to this new chapter, and boy, I needed it!  The title felt so fitting as every day felt like a "wilderness" of unknowns. I loved how she talked about the importance of making an impact from right where you are. And not to forget how the small, meaningful connections matter. Little phrases, that feel a bit like mantras, were woven throughout. Some that spoke to me:

Look for joy
Be more curious
Trust
Listen to understand
Power of courage

So many words I needed to focus on, especially the move and everything was just so raw.

And this one:

"But the more we're willing to seek our moments of collective joy and show up for experiences of collective pain - for real, in person, not online - the more difficult it becomes to deny our human connection even with people we may disagree with. Not one do moments of collective emotion remind us of what is possible between people, but they also remind us of what is true about the human spirit."

Beautiful. The book was full of oodles of wisdom I hope to apply in motherhood, and so many relatable real-life stories and experiences.

The book is full of insights and quotes from so many. I loved this one from Joan Halifax, as she was teaching Brene about the importance of connecting with ourselves, and giving ourselves permission to set boundaries:

"Tonight we will exhale and teach. Now it's time to inhale. There is the in-breath and there is the out-break, and it's easy to believe that we must exhale all the time, without ever inhaling. But the inhale is absolutely essential if you want to opine to exhale."

This book has all kinds of notes in the margins and things underlined all over - definitely one I'll go back to!

Friends in Unexpected Places

Just as the bloom of a flower seems to pop up unexpectedly from time to time, friendships have a way of sprouting in unexpected ways.

Alexis made friends with this darling girl at the pool one day. It worked out that they would meet each other after school and ride home together every day. The more they chatted, the more we learned her story. She was actually living here temporarily - the hurricane had destroyed her community in Puerto Rico, and her family was separated between finding refuge here and still living in Puerto Rico. The family who had stayed had been going months without power. She was a joy to spend time with, and her resilience with being in a new place, away from her family and everything she knew, was inspiring for Alexis and helped strengthen her in her new chapter as well.

As we connected with her story, I couldn't help but reflect on how much connection truly matters for all of us. While she and Alexis had been through vastly different life experiences, they had been brought together not by coincidence, but by Divine design. It was a joy to see them look forward to seeing one another each day, and how they'd ride their bikes home so slowly just to spend more time chatting. They truly lifted one another. It had me thinking how their friendship started in such a simple way - Alexis was actually a bit nervous to go chat with her the first time at the pool, but overcame that worry, and they had a great time swimming together. This experience has had me thinking about connections I could be more proactive in - and how meaningful they can become. 

We were so sad when we heard she'd be heading to a new place and school (but were so happy to hear her family would be reuniting again). Alexis surprised her on her last day with a gift - a journal for her to write her new adventures and a necklace to remember their friendship.

Our second unexpected friend has been Wilma, one of the crossing guards. She and Abigail had a connection from the first moment they met. Whenever Abby is having a "moment" (as all three year olds do), and isn't wanting to go on the bike ride, I remind her that Wilma will be at the corner wondering where she is, and she jumps on the bike and goes to meet her friend. She jumps off her bike and gives Wilma the biggest hugs. And Wilma hugs right back. And I smile, simply grateful to have a front row seat of this tender connection. After Abigail had asked all kinds of questions about Wilma's whistle, Wilma surprised her with her very own whistle and she wears it every day. She told me she wants to be a crossing guard when she grows up. So sweet!

Art

Painting is one of Abigail's most favorite things. And I'm so grateful for paint that is easy to clean up! She wanted to paint a picture for her sister, and the painting time evolved into her making one for all of her siblings. It was sweet to see her light up with each one she made, and to hear her talk with excitement that we'd hang them on the doors as a "surprise" for when they came home. And I couldn't resist a reason to hang up some quotes! It was a simple thing, but a reminder to me that those simple things really do matter. In a small way, they strengthened a connection.












Her actions inspired me to be mindful those thoughts of connection and to act on them. I feel like it's much easier to push aside those thoughts thinking it's not the right timing, or not "grand" enough, or like it would take too much time. But the thing is, I've never regretted acting on those thoughts, but I have regretted NOT acting on them. No matter how simple they may feel. This painting project was a gentle reminder to me that service can happen at any time, by any age, and in any way.

Baking Soda x 2

Two times in two days, baking soda has been a lifesaver.

Yesterday, Max had a new friend over for a playdate.  Things were great for about the first 45 minutes as the two had their imaginary fights and battles with Hero guys in Max's room.  Then they meandered their way into the kitchen, where his new friend had a question for Max's mom (at least, that's what I heard as they were walking down the stairs).

They made it over, and the conversation went a little like this:

New friend:  "Can we play video games now?"
Me:  "sorry, bud.  We don't have any." (yes, folks, we might be old fashioned these days, but that's just how it is around here.)
New friend:  "Seriously?  Not even a Wii?"
Me:  I kinda laugh.  "Nope, not even a Wii.  You guys will just have to find something else to do."
Of course Max is standing there watching this whole thing.  I'm a little hopeful that he'll suggest something.  But, he stands silent.  A little thrown that this guy wants to play with something we don't have.  I'm guessing he'd already had this conversation upstairs, and the new friend didn't believe him or something.
New friend:  "Man, our Wii at home has like 56 games or something.  That's what I always play."
(Sigh.)  Looking at this guy, I realize that he's lost the idea of what "something else" means.  And, he's not going to let this go.  And, he's probably just trying to push some buttons to see if we really don't have video games.

I do what any mom would do when she has a big bag of baking soda and a bottle of vinegar sitting underneath her kitchen sink.

And suggest a volcano.

What boy wouldn't want to make some exploding bubbles?
They had a great time.  Counting down the explosions.  Picking what color of lava they'd go for next.
Before long, they were off to the basement, jumping and building obstacle courses.  A great way to get out that endless energy.  Check that one off as a success.

Baking soda saved me again this morning.  As we opened Tayler's room to get her up, we were literally blown away from the fumes.  So bad that Mike turned right around and walked out.  The kind of smell that you mentally remind yourself where the nearest toilet is, just in case.  I made my way over to the crib to find she'd manage to throw-up all over.  And not recently.  As if she'd done it right around bedtime, then was so tired that she slept and rolled in it ALL-NIGHT-LONG.  The poor thing was covered in it.  The sheet was crusty, her jammies were crusty, the blanket was crusty and her hair, well, just imagine.  As I'm typing this I still can't believe that she didn't wake up and cry at some point during the night.  Folks, this stuff was not recent.

Operation fumigation was in order.  Another love, is the sanitize setting on our washer.  Literally life changing.

Two baths, an open window, fan blowing, complete crib wipe down, a finger nail trim, and I could still smell it.  Like that annoying fly that you can't kill in your house in the summertime.  It just wouldn't go away.

How could something so small make such a big mess?  (And how many times have I asked myself that question over the past 6.5 years?)

I'd wiped the mattress earlier, but then decided to just stick my nose on it - and immediately had another mental reminder for the nearest toilet.  Whew.  I still don't understand how a plastic baby mattress could smell so bad.

Mentally kicking myself for leaving the mattress pad off of the crib last night.  Of course, our current mattress pad is a big, fleece blanket.  Our original one wore out, and I can't seem to ever remember to just pick up a new one.  Or, maybe I'm cheap.  Whatever.  The blanket worked great, and was flat.  But, it didn't matter anyway, as it was sitting inside my dryer.

Which brings me back to the mattress.  And baking soda.  I dumped a big load of the stuff all over the mattress (wet it a little to make it more like a paste).  Closed the door, opened the window (again), ran the fan, and left.  A couple hours later, I came back, cleaned the whole thing off.  Voila!

Added a few squirts of febreze for good measure, and ahhh...room is back to normal.  At least for now.

If you don't have a big bag of this stuff (yes, mom, I'm still using that big bag you gave me ages ago!), add it to the list.

How's Tayler? You might wonder.  Fine.  As if it had never happened.  She ate a little more than usual before bedtime.  Clearly she didn't need it.

Trip to Utah - First 2 Days

We split our Utah time between grandparents. The first half we were in Park City with my family. Looking back at the pictures and I can't believe we did so much in the 4 days we were there! Loved every minute, and not only did they spend some great time with grandma and grandpa but were able to hang out with their Aunt & Uncle too!

Art project at the hotel. Alpine Slide - first time for Alexis! Thought I'd have a panic attack taking her up the ski lift. She REALLY wanted to to turn around and see everyone behind her. We headed off to take Max on the coaster (his favorite!), and she jumped right on the lap of our old neighbors and family friends! Their family used to babysit me (in fact, she was the only one that I'd go to!) and I've grown up with their family. It was great to run into them while we were there, and fun that Alexis warmed right up to her (like I used to!). Then she crashed, and hung out with grandma until we made it back. Dinner and a nice walk on Main Street. If you can't tell, this girl was glued to papa!The kids went to my parents home one morning/afternoon while I had the chance to workout and go shopping with my sis - without kids, and Mike headed out for a long mountain bike ride (ahh! simple things that are appreciated so much more when the opportunity to do them rarely comes around!). Max was super excited to build something in Papa's workshop!


That evening, my dad dusted off these kites and let the kids fly them. That evening had just the right canyon breeze for both the dragon and elephant to fly. Mike and I caught a glimpse of the scene before we headed out on our first of two big kid nights. It looked like the kids (and everyone else) were having a blast. And, it was so nice to be able to easily go on a date with my hubby (another simple thing that is appreciated so much more when you don't live around grandparents!)!