Sunday Thoughts

As I'm writing this, we are well over a month into the COVID-19 pandemic with social distancing and staying home. And while I am writing another post to highlight many moments for our family during this unique window of time, today, my thoughts keep wrapping around our focus from church at home today. We asked each of the kiddos to write about the good they've seen during this time, to think about what has been hard, and to think why and how God has been in the details. Each one sat and shared simple yet profound truths highlighting so much power and faith in knowing that as they stay close to God, no matter what happens in the world, things will work out. I truly believe this pause in time they are experiencing in their youth from the routine of what they've always known is preparing them for great things where they will shine in their lives because they have this experience to draw from.

I felt drawn to talk about our scripture theme for the year. At the beginning of each school year, Mike and I choose one scripture to focus on for the year. Looking back, it's humbling to see how much that focus for each year truly ties in with life as it unfolds. And today was no different. Last August, we chose "Be Still and Know that I Am God" (Psalm 46:10). We'd hoped to bring this message intentionally into our lives as a tool for increasing the power of the present moment, of listening, and hearing God's voice in our lives. What we didn't foresee is how this scripture would apply in new layers connected to this current pandemic.

Experiencing a stillness and a true pause from the daily routine and schedule of life has always felt unimaginable, unthinkable and absolutely impossible. Yet, here we are. And with all of the uncertainty, disappointment and worry completely available for our minds and hearts (and trust me, we've all had our fair share of praaciting those emotions), the ultimate truth is how this opportunity opens the door for an even deeper reliance on God. His will. His timing. And practicing patience that while we don't have all the details, as long as we stick to Plan A (trust Jesus), the rest will work out. All of it. All the hard. All the wonderful. Weaves together into incredible moments that I have no doubt will be a hinge point of remembrance on our timeline of personal history.

And as we sat together today, so grateful to be soaking in church at home together, listening to the kiddos share glimpses of their faith journey during this time, I felt it.

The purpose in this place.
The growing that's happening here.
The stillness.
The light of truth.

That's the power we'll continue to ignite. That's the power we will continue to draw from.

February Little Things

The morning skies without rain have been brilliant. I think I really see them differently as they don't happen when it's cloudy and rainy. I loved the sky so much one morning, I wanted to capture it for memory. 

At family dinner one night, Mike looked over at Abby to see both of her front teeth sticking forward rather than down. They had both been loose for awhile and sure enough they were ready to come out at the same time! We've loved having her toothless these last few weeks!

 Mike's sister introduced us to the pineapple corer while we were in Utah visiting. Ordering one has been life changing.

Rob was in town for a short 24 hours - so fun to visit with him! He and Mike have been friends since elementary school, and Rob has visited us in almost every place we've lived (including South Korea!).

 We call this "Bob Ross" style painting. We watched one of his episodes on Netflix and then the kids had a blast creating their own versions on canvas.

Lots of elementary school activities happening. The older two girls made valentines boxes, Abby made cards for the kiddos in her class. Tayler's grade had an awesome play production - each class had a min-play, complete with costumes and everything. It was darling! Tayler was a swan in "The Ugly Duckling." Of course, her play was starting at the exact time that I needed to drop Max off at his school. Mike was traveling, and no matter how I worked it, I knew I'd be a few minutes late, and probably in the very back of the cafeteria. I said a little prayer that I'd at least get to see her. As I was driving Max to school, I started to stress that I might not even get a spot in the cafeteria (we've learned these school events are well attended - which is great, but stressful if you can't get there early!). At that very moment, I received a message from a sweet friend who said "got here early, saved you a seat on the 5th row!" And while it sounds like a such a small thing, it was a reminder to me that the Lord is in the details of our lives and knows our hearts. So grateful for her, and that I was able to pop in (a few minutes late) and still able to be there for Tayler.

Every month or so, I get to go volunteer in Abby's classroom with another parent where we spend an hour or so sharing a theme through a book, and then stations of science/math/games/art. I've forgotten to take pictures, but captured this one as they were celebrating Presidents Day. It's been so fun to be there!

 A day of sun and warmth meant bubbles on the driveway!

 We've spent oodles of time at basketball games or driving to/from practices. Max actually had a small window in February where he overlapped being on three different teams - one for the feeder High School, one for the Middle School, and one for church. While it was crazy for a couple of weeks, he really stepped up and managed his time well. We're super grateful he had the experience of being part of each team. His feeder team made it into the tournament and held themselves really well (their season had only one loss). His middle school team rocked an almost undefeated season as well. And his church bball team won the stake championship! They were all so different, and all offered unique learning opportunities for Max. He's fun to watch!

We kept our heart attack tradition - everyone writes a kind heart to everyone else in the family! We've also made our monthly focus centered around the book, 7 Habits for Highly Effective People. February was teaching and practicing the principle "be proactive" and each kiddo wins the award for the week. Sundays are the short teaching moment, sometimes with role playing, sometimes in conversation, sometimes the "short" is the main part about it. Then everyone does nominations for the winner (who gets construction paper sign on their door for the week). It's felt really doable, practical and simple.

 During the first week of crazy with the new puppy, Abby took to creating her own after school snacks. I thought it was hilarious that she made a "snack" of bread with chocolate chips!

 Mike and I had the opportunity to attend the JA (Junior Achievers) annual banquet for his company. It was a black tie event and so fun to spend the evening doing something we never typically do!

We've celebrated a few 'firsts' with Max in February as well. We attended his high school orientation night (bah!). It was so awesome and I couldn't help but smile pretty much the whole time. We are so excited for him and this new chapter that'll be beginning for him! Then, he and I spent a couple hours one night pouring through the high school class options (SO MANY OPTIONS!) and while it felt a bit overwhelming, we called a few families who've been through the process and they were so helpful! Fun stuff. AND, Max was able to go to his first church dance! He wasn't jumping at the opportunity, but thankfully a group of his peers welcomed him in by picking him up and all going together. He had a blast.

And things in February that happened without photos:

*We've been painting all of the kids rooms and helping them create an intentional space. It's been a fun process.

*Mike had some whirlwind travel from the first of the year through February which took him to China, Mexico (twice), England and Amsterdam. Gratefully, he's stayed healthy, and I need to do another post of the few photos he captured (between the hotels, meeting rooms and airports!). Amsterdam is officially on our list of places to go visit together!!

*Mike and I enjoyed some lunch dates between his traveling schedule while the kiddos are at school. Different seasons of life bring opportunities for us to find those times to intentionally connect.
*We coordinated a family service activity with a few other families and went to an assisted living center. Whoever wanted to played music, and we visited the residents in the memory care facility. Definitely something we want to keep doing on a regular basis!

Locked Out

Bringing a puppy into the mix of life has been full of moments. Moments of joy. Moments of crazy. Lots of moments of crazy. Lots more messes to clean up. And lots of moments of love.

The first week was a bit hectic. He really missed his family and couldn't settle down to sleep the first two nights. I tried everything I could think of, but it was all pretty fruitless. Around 4:00am the second morning (as Mike was headed out to the airport), I turned to trusty google for any kind of tip or answer to calm the pup so he could acclimate to the new home. And sure enough, a fantastic dog training video (McCann Training) popped up and offered just the tools I needed to help settle him in his crate and adjust a little easier. Since then, he's been making progress.

Figuring out puppy potty training and weaving it into the schedule of school drop offs, pick ups, volunteering, errands and after-school activities has been an adventure. But, training videos have been a helpful first step for catching ways to teach him proactively and overall, he's figuring things out.

One morning, after I'd gotten everyone off to school, I ran him outside and he was a bundle of energy. He and I had a blast running around the house and he's been playing fetch so well. When we were all done, we turned to go in the same door we came out. I have been teaching him to use the first couple of stairs, and as we took the last step to the door, I began to slip off my shoes and turn the handle.

But the handle didn't turn.

Immediately, I realized that I had managed to lock myself out. With no spare key. No other way to enter the house. And with a little puppy who was then ready for a nap.

After taking a stroll around the house (hoping I'd left something unlocked somewhere!), I came to the conclusion that the only way back in would be with a locksmith.

Gratefully, I had my phone. I don't believe I'd taken my phone with me on any other play time with the pup, but I distinctly remember having the thought "grab your phone" as I walked out the door. Not thinking much at the time, I placed it in my pocket and headed out with the puppy.

Yet, as I sat on the step with the puppy, I was SO grateful to have a phone. Of course I texted Mike and filled him in (who was in Mexico at the time), called a locksmith (ouch, they aren't cheap!) and hung out with the pup.

It's funny sometimes how bumps in the road remind us of how much opportunity we have to choose how we respond. My initial prayer when I realized the door was locked was that I could find an unlocked door and let myself back in. And while that initial desire wasn't answered, as I sat outside waiting for the locksmith, listening to the birds and the trees in the soft breeze, I realized that what I needed had been given to me before I realized I needed it. I was so grateful for the impression to grab my phone before heading out the door, and for His awareness in the little details of my life.

Bugs

Nebraska has a lot of bugs.  I knew that before we moved here.  In fact, I remember when Mike and I drove out to Minnesota the very first time, I stepped out of the car in Lincoln, and couldn't get over how loud all of the secadias were.  It reminded me of Korea!

Now that we live here I'm lucky enough to hear those guys rub their wings all the time.  And, we've discovered lots of other new bugs.  Like a hummingbird moth.  Or a black hornet.  And, rediscovered lots of bugs that we've always known about, but are twice the size here thanks to the climate.  

But, my favorite is the tomato worm.  We had a lot of tomatoes this year.  I can't even count how many bowls we picked that looked like these below.

Recently, I was ripping out the plants (we were done for the season!) and came across the LARGEST CATERPILLAR EVER.  I showed it to Max as soon as I found it, and he ran and grabbed a container from inside.  It was a big plastic container, perfect for him to hold and inspect the worm as much as he wanted.  And, he didn't have a lid - which was no big deal since he wanted to pick him up a bunch anyway.  Upon closer study, we found out it was a tomato worm.  Easily two adult finger lengths long, an inch in diameter and a long red horn just ready for poking another tomato.  A whole bunch of my tomatoes were scarred on the outside thanks to this guy.  

Max was studying insects at school and was so excited to take this guy in to show his class.  I was too - we'd never seen one so big!  He played with it outside, and I went back to my project.

One thing led to another, and Mike had to leave for a meeting, and we seriously needed some groceries.  Hastily, I packed the kids in the car and we zipped off for a quick trip to the store.  As we were leaving Max said, "what about the tomato worm?  remember we were going to put it in a different container?"  I was in a rush, really wanted to get this mom stuff done, and said, "oh, don't worry, we can do it when we get back.  He'll be just fine."  The back of my mind reminded me that the worm didn't have a lid on, but I figured it was way too deep for him to get out.

Arriving home from the grocery store, Max bolted out of the car to check on this tomato worm.  Only to find that it was gone.  G.O.N.E.  He was heartbroken.

And I was heartbroken.

We looked everywhere, only to discover he was G.O.N.E.

Max was so heartbroken about it, and I tried to stay positive, like clearly he's doing something somewhere that is better.  We created scenarios that were like this:

*A bird swooped down and ate him.

*A bunny hopped over and ate him.

*The wind whisked the container and he flew to find his family.

But the real truth (which I suspected) and was later confirmed, came down to the curiosity of other young kiddos who'd witnessed the catch earlier in the day.  

My heart sank.  If I'd only taken a bit more time to put the tomato worm in a better spot for Max, I could have avoided this completely.

Max said many prayers like this, "and please let me find the tomato worm so I can take it back to school to show my class."  or "please bless the tomato worm to find our house again."

Ouch.  The plants were ripped out, the worm was GONE and I felt like such a bad guy.

A few days went by and as kids do so well, Max moved on.

About two weeks later, Max had the day off of school.  Alexis is actually on a different calander, so she still had preschool.  I'd toyed with all kinds of things we were going to do, but since Tayler and I were battling a cold, a day at home seemed like the best choice.

Driving home from dropping Alexis off at school, I drove on a road that I run tracks onto.  I can't even tell you how many times I drive on this road in our neighborhood.  To one side is houses, and to the other is mostly an open field (with a handful of lots that have yet to be built on).  

Staring at the road ahead I saw it.  A tomato worm crossing the street right in front of me!  

I pulled the car over, we grabbed a water bottle (I knew I had water bottles in my car for good reason!), and stuck him inside.

Max was delighted!  So excited to bring him to school the next day.

Back on the same road a couple hours later, I spotted ANOTHER tomato worm, crossing just as the other one had!  Giant!  We snagged him up and added him in with his friend.

Two tomato worms found with Max on a road that I travel on all the time.  I've never seen a tomato worm before or after that day, and I know it was an answer to his prayers.  The odds of us seeing those worms (and not just running them over), coupled with the odds of Max actually being in the car with me at that time, added to the oddness of finding them in the middle of the road was no coincidence.

Sometimes the greatest reminders that prayers are answered are in the small moments of life.   Or as well stated in a talk written by David Bednar, the tender mercies from the Lord.  

I'm so grateful we had one of them that day.

3 weeks

I can't believe Tayler has been hanging out with us the past three weeks. At the same time, it feels like it's been forever. The best way I can think to describe those first weeks with a newborn is that it feels like one day. One really long day. That starts the moment you see them, and then continues. Endlessly. With brief naps mixed in. Sometimes those naps happen to be when it's dark outside.

The second night I was in the hospital, Tayler really struggled to sleep. Dang fussy. The night nurse even seemed a bit surprised, and told me good luck before she left her shift the next morning (not sure if that's the best news you want to hear). Mentioned it to the pediatrician the next day, and who replied that it was probably a one time deal and she was just "transitioning into the world."

Let's just say her "transition" has taken longer than one night. Is she healthy? You bet. Is she eating? You bet. But she's been fussy. I still wouldn't put her in the category of colic, but would label her as fussy. Very particular about how to be swaddled, the position she wants to sleep in, where she wants to sleep, how she wants to be rocked, everything seems like it just needs to be certain way. Sometimes it reminds me of Max as a baby, but she's still her own thing with her own quirks. I think if it were all up to her, she would be held 24/7. I'm pretty sure I've convinced her that sleeping solo isn't so bad. And, for the rest of the time - thank goodness she's light and that there are handy things like baby carriers. I'm thinking she might have uncomfortable reflux or something, although she's not spitting up huge amounts. We'll see how it progresses.

Three weeks into this, and the most consecutive sleep I've had has been 2 hours. But luckily, I've started to get some of those back to back between feedings during night napping hours. And, she's figuring out a bottle here or there isn't so bad, so I'm hoping to time that right soon to snag some extra sleep while dad hangs out with her.

And here's where I start to get a bit teary eyed as I type. Mike has been a rock star dad with his help every minute he's around. And, I can't even express thanks enough to everyone that has made our family a part of their lives these last few weeks. From stopping in to pick up the older two for some much needed playtime, to pick up and drop off at the bus stop, to dropping off dinners, to just checking in -- I am amazed at how much making the choice to help a little here or there has become a huge help for us. One of my biggest fears pre-baby was that I'd be doing it all solo. I think that's a common concern when you're tackling something like this away from extended family. And, yes, there are some things that just mom can do, but I've been overwhelmed with how much support we've received for all of the other things.

I'd mentioned to one friend in particular that staying in the hospital this time would feel so different since my only visitors would be Mike and the kids. She jumped at the chance to be a visitor (the day after she'd already had my kids for a full day). It meant so much. On one of the countless times I thanked her for help she paused and said, "I know it's hard to be in your shoes and ask someone to help you. But I want you to know how much I enjoy being on this end as the one that can help."

Another friend, after dropping off my two kids that she'd had for the afternoon said, "Seeing you in this phase has brought back so many memories of when I had a newborn. I've just tried to remember what I would have liked during that time." And she's been spot on with her help!

I'm so grateful to be where we are, and welcome the chance to pay it forward during another chapter of life.

Will Tayler improve? You bet. And, I've honestly seen glimpses of it the past couple of days. Look forward to when those glimpses get a bit bigger and longer.

Mike and I celebrated our three weeks of three kids by taking Tayler on a walk. It was a snowy and windy day, so we kept it indoors around the track at the gym, while the two older kiddos got their "gym time." My own personal celebration included a shower and curling my hair. Capped off the night with some take out from our favorite Mexican restaurant. And the knowledge that I'm only a week away from getting back into some workouts.

I've tried to snap some photos of Tayler. Need to do more. Her eyes started gray and seem to be turning blue, although it's still too early to tell. Mike and I keep checking her hair for any signs of red, but it looks like she's sticking with the brown (for now).





Here's where she likes to spend time...

Max came up with this one. Even figured out how he wanted the eyes and arms. Minus the gluing, I really can't claim that I was much help.

Wearing the hat for his 100th day of school.
Showing off one of her "ballerina moves."