Words to Remember: Welcoming Change

Welcoming Change:

As the pages of one chapter end and a new one begins, take a moment to pause.

Close the eyes and inhale. Feel your lungs expand as you breathe the air surrounding you. Notice the long inhale opening your heart, creating space for all the emotions surrounding this sacred space within you. Give them a name.

Exhale and release. Soften your mind into the present moment. Between the pages of these two chapters. Maybe it's a new job, a child heading off to kindergarten or to college. Maybe you've recently moved. But where you stand today is unchartered ground. This period of transition has awakened a new chapter to open from within you.

As you pause, soak in moments from the past. They were exactly as they needed to be. Because those moments, strung together like individual beads on a necklace, are what have created the beautiful strand of your life. They are what have brought you to where you stand today. Full of heartache, loss and failure and disappointment but also full of hope, laughter, love and joy. Let the light of those moments travel through you like the warmth of the sun on the skin on a summer day.

The light within you is the source of truth.

Looking ahead, you may find yourself worrying, overwhelmed at the unknown pages ahead in the next chapter. Unsure how to navigate them or where to even begin. Yet, pause, my friend. Plant yourself firmly exactly where you stand and feel the earth beneath you. Just as that earth grows the most magnificent trees, it's taking the seed you have in this very moment and is preparing you to blossom. Let yourself grow in this very moment. Stay open.

Stay open when the rains come. Stay open when the night sky darkens. Because the light of the stars will continue to shine, and what makes the stars is also within you.

Trust the process. Welcome this season of change with courage and faith. Walk hand in hand with both and they will become your North Star.

All destinations begin with taking a single step. Yet remember, dear friend, that with each step you take, you invite the opportunity to pause. To take a breath. To remember that exactly who you are now is exactly who you are meant to be. And whatever lies ahead, you will not fear. Your light is made for this time. Your light has been gathering, ready to shine in this very moment.

With love,

Sara

A Pause Between Pages

A new chapter begins. New state, new home, new community and new schools. Our oldest begins his last year of middle school while our youngest begins her first year of Kindergarten. The first day of school, they awoke excited yet nervous. Confident yet doubtful. Calm yet anxious.

Or maybe those were my emotions.

Because as I watched our kindergartener boldly step into her classroom, held the hand of our second grader as she asked bubbled with energy, saw our fifth grader courageously step into her classroom with a smile, and chatted with our eighth grader on his way to school, the moments filled me with reminders of their strength, their light, their courage.

They are there and I am home. It is quiet. It is still. As this new chapter begins for our family, I find myself taking a moment to pause between the pages. Drinking deeply the moments of the past. Of exploring and discovering. Of letting go and trusting. Of embracing and connecting. There is so much to be grateful for.

The light of those moments travel through me like the warmth of the sun on my skin on a hot summer day. Closing the eyes for just a moment to see, hear and relive them as they imprint on the mind and heart.

Between the pages, I find moments of vulnerability. As with all change, what encompasses the next chapter is new and undiscovered. Yet, if I truly look back at our story, I see two themes carried throughout every page.

Faith and courage.

Pausing for a moment to breathe them in deeply, I remember. How they speak to my Spirit, open my heart and soften my rough edges. They are continual teachers as we travel as students of life. I remember. There is nothing to fear, nothing to hold back from.

I am ready.

The next chapter awaits.

Sunday Thoughts: Summit Moments

"You cannot stay on the summit forever; you have to come down again. So why bother in the first place? Just this: what is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above. One climbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up. When one can no longer see, one can at least still know." - Rene Daumal

Sometimes you find a quote and it jumps into your heart. I've probably read this one 100 times since I found it at the beginning of the year. Each time it connects and grounds me back to a mindset of perspective. I find myself pondering "summits" in our life as a family and how grateful we have been for every one of those experiences. How impossible they looked when standing at the bottom of the mountain, overwhelmed with even the idea of getting to the top, but simply having enough trust in God to take the first step. And then another. And then another.

Reaching those summit moments came as we often carried fear, doubt, or worry, along with us. But we also carried trust, peace, resiliency and hope. Soaking in the moments to look around - to Be Still and Know. And step by step, little by little, those summit moments have come. They are so beautiful.

More Art

We’ve been trying to make good use of the window of time when the girls get home, but Max is still at school. Some days, it’s as simple as playing outside, but other days, I plan a little thing together.

And as much as I appreciate and value all the learning they do at school, having things they learn at home feels essential. Art is something that I feel gets a bit “boxed” with everyone doing the same project, or getting graded on specific aspects. I totally understand the need to go that route, but I want them to remember to embrace creating for the sake of creating! To enjoy art, not for the finished product, but for the process. My adult-self is learning how calming, mindful and a bit therapeutic it is! I remember reading “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brene Brown and really connecting with the need to give ourselves permission to create. It’s actually what started up the practice of handlettering for me, and I’m continually learning how much beauty there is in creativity! Here’s a couple of our recent art projects:

For this art project, we had fun with paint sticks! We read a classic, and then painted whatever came to mind from the story. "Wilma" is the crossing guard that has become a sweet friend to the girls, and they were so excited to make her some little notes.




And this one was pastel chalks. The focus was CONNECTION (our one word theme for the year). I love what they came up with. And yep, I'm choosing to create right alongside them. While there are always a bazillion things I could be catching up on, letting go of what I “could do” and mindfully choosing to focus on BEing there is something I strive to be aware of. Because these seemingly small and simple moments truly are great.

Growing

Mike gets all the credit for this great pic! We are so grateful to be parents to this crew! They inspire us and we strive to diligent parents. It feels like we learn something new each day about how to approach (or not approach something), but we keep trying.

I've been pondering a phrase to "raise a sin-resistant generation" for some time. I remember hearing it from President Nelson here and from Sister Jones here. Most recently, I love what Elder Taylor shared recently about this specific phrase: "To mothers, especially young mothers, who often feel overwhelmed and underwater while striving to raise "a sin-resistant generation," never underestimate your central role in God's plan. In stressful moments - perhaps when you are chasing little ones and a charred smell from the kitchen informs you that your lovingly prepared dinner is now a burnt offering - know that God sanctifies your most difficult days. "Fear thou not; for I am with thee," He peacefully reassures. We honor you as you fulfill the hope of Sister Joy D. Jones, who stated, "Our children deserve to understand their divine identity." More of his talk is here.

I know what those chasing/burnt smell moments feel like. More often than not, our dinners end up on the "slightly overcooked" side. And just last week I walked into the house after running an errand, only to discover a faucet had been left running. It was a slow run, and it was in the sink, but I had a moment.

We fully believe that striving to "raise sin-resistant children" is our purpose. It begins with ourselves, and understanding our identity. Our worth. Our eternal value beyond what others choose to label it.

I recently looked up the definition of raise:
1. To lift or move to a higher position or level.
2. Increase the amount, level or strength of.

"Raising sin-resistant children" is about creating space for growth, recognizing and feeling connection to our eternal worth and the voice of the Spirit. In everyday moments of learning that mistakes are an essential part of the everyday. I loved the words written about mistakes, repentance and forgiveness from Elder Robbins here.

Growing.

Always happening. Constant, yet can feel so slow.

Changing.

Full of missteps and opportunities to learn.

I'll write more on this later, but we've loved applying the advice to evaluate the kiddos regularly on five areas - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social. I feel like anytime we have moved and experienced a high amount of change, Mike and I talk about these even more frequently. But, it's interesting how much they blend together.

For example, the whole reason we were out "shopping together" (a rare thing for us!), is that after basketball the other day, I looked down and noticed a hole in the front of Max's shoes. I never knew shoes could wear out like they do! One of the kiddos needed some new shorts too (legs are getting looonnngg!), so we checked out a super big outlet mall nearby. It’s huge. We couldn’t believe the amount of people shopping with empty suitcases. It was an awesome to chat about how truly global the world is. And while the size of the place felt a bit overwhelming, we navigated where we needed to and headed out!

We met some physical needs. But in the course of the errand, we were able to connect with other areas as well. It gave us additional insights into our kiddos that we will continue to cultivate and help them discover and grow.

Of course, those were moments. Mixed between the ongoing learning experiences that not everyone buys something just because we all go together, of keeping track of them in the crowds, and reminding them that hungry tummies will be filled, but they may need to wait just a bit (and reminding that same kiddo of the snack they turned down earlier because they weren't hungry). But those moments woven in over time are what we strive for and are central to our family unit.

A new accessory

We’ve entered the chapter of braces! Of course by the time we picked up everyone from school a bit early (it was a tricky appointment slot to schedule!), we were scrambling to get to the appointment on time, but I had to snag a before:

And so glad I did. Here’s the after:

Doesn’t he look awesome?! 

And a pic of the “waiting.” I typically always have a little notepad, gel pens and stickers for things like this. And of course Tayler remembers the books. We see screens and technology for “passing time” as a choice, and as a family, strive to be mindful of how or when that choice is used. For us, teaching kiddos how to be present far outweighs any short-term distraction, so choosing to tolerate carrying around other things keeps us in line with what we strive to teach. We know as each kiddo ages, technology will become a much bigger part of their life - and giving them the capacity to connect to the "now" in non-screen ways is something we strive for as often as possible. It's a small way we really try "practicing presence." But gosh, technology has so much goodness to offer, and I do love the convenience of a camera and being able to take a simple quick photo of a little moment!

Two Perspectives

The girls and I kicked off spring break (while Mike and Max were on a scout campout to the Florida Keys) and joined up with friends at the beach! It was amazing weather, and we look forward to many more beach days to come.

And as the girls and I were at the beach, two perspectives really spoke to me. We'd spent an awesome time together on the beach and in the sand. I feel like I'm getting better with managing the sand and the beach experience - not overpacking, remembering to reapply sunscreen, and we brought a volleyball along which we attempted to pass back and forth. We spent more time chasing after it, but it was fun. The water was beautiful.

As we were leaving and walking through the parking garage to our car, the view from the parking garage was incredible! I couldn't believe how beautiful the beach looked! The color of the water was so much more brilliant when you were at a higher place to see it. The sand looked majestic, and the view in general was so much broader than what we'd experienced on the beach.

The whole drive home I pondered those two very different perspectives. And really thought about how much I spend my moments in life "on the beach." And while I believe those moments are essential, I cherish the time I take to go to "higher ground" to spend moments pondering a broader perspective. To see the bigger picture and remember how we truly are all connected. I found myself getting a little teary eyed with gratitude, thinking about how much I appreciate those "higher ground" moments in life as they empower and strengthen me far beyond any strengthening I could do if I only stayed "on the beach." 

So much wisdom from nature.

Easter

Building simple family traditions that center on Christ are what we strive to create during the Easter season. It feels like a proactive effort to let go of the "noise" and commercialism that surrounds the holiday. Every year we seem to tweak, add or refine something, but it has absolutely become one of my most favorite holidays. I wanted to write a few of our traditions down for memory!

Palm Sunday - We typically begin our Easter focus the Sunday prior. We love the Bible videos that bring the scriptures to life. In past years, the kiddos made palm leaves out of construction paper and took turns walking over them. This year, it was fun to go in our backyard and connect with actual Palm Leaves. 

We use these bible videos.  

During dinner that night (we've built a tradition that at the end of our Sunday Dinners, we'll have a gospel-centered discussion. Often, we start with a short video and then chat from there.), we watched the Because of Him video and all chose a specific focus to center more on Christ. I loved this idea, and next year I think it might be fun for us to incorporate for the whole month leading up to Easter, or in conjunction with Lent!

Holy Week - Each night we read the scriptures/watch the Bible video that connects with the Holy Week. This year we were a little off with it being the same week as our vacation, so we had a couple catch ups, but it all worked out. We usually finish up with a short discussion - sharing why this part of history connects to our every day life, and how we can strive to follow the teachings and example of Christ.

Jerusalem Dinner - We started this tradition a couple years ago, and it is a favorite! Depending on how scheduling works out, we try to do this on Thursday night, in conjunction with the last supper, but this year, it fit better for us to do on Saturday night. We keep the meal simple - and it seems to evolve depending on what I can put together to "represent" a dinner from long ago. This year, we ate outside, with little tea lights and background music. We chat together about the Holy Week, what it means to us, and share our love for Christ and for families. We keep it really informal, short and it's of course mixed in with whatever topic comes up, but it has those mindful moments where we just feel present and connected.

Easter Egg Hunt - I LOVE family Easter egg hunts! I find myself smiling the whole time. I actually signed up for our neighborhood Easter egg hunt (held the week prior) and even dropped off the eggs prior to the event. And then forgot to go! Ha! Oh well, it all worked out. We did our hunt in the backyard, and combined two types of eggs. Some were full of candy (of course) and others were numbered filled with scriptures and a little object that connected with the scripture. After everyone found their eggs, we went through the numbered scripture eggs, and it's handy that the kids have fun munching on their candy while reading them too!

Sugar Cookies - We make these every year - since it seems like they don't get enough sugar already! The girls love helping in the kitchen, and making cookies together is just fun (messy, but fun!). 

Easter Eggs - We usually dye these and use them as an Easter decoration along with some spring flowers, but didn't get to it this year!

Artwork - This year, we printed the packet from the small seed and used art to connect to Christ as well. To me, art is so calming and mindful. It is such a beautiful way to center and connect things we may hear or see and express in a personal way. Alexis really took to this one - and it reminded me how meaningful it is to have a variety of different mediums to teach principles as different kiddos strengths will connect in different ways. 

Sunday Morning Devotional - Our first thing on Sunday morning is a Christ-centered devotional. We typically have an Easter breakfast - for us it's German pancakes! We love attending church - and this year we loved that our church held the semi-annual conference on Easter. It was amazing to soak in! 

Easter baskets: These are fun to look for and in full disclosure, Tayler found hers and said, “Mom and Dad, you are totally doing these. There’s not a bunny that hides these!” Probably not too hard to figure out since I realized about 10pm night prior that we didn’t have any “Easter baskets” (those didn’t make it in the move!) and used some gift bags (which of course she totally recognized).   Initially, I thought “oh no! I’ve spoiled it for her” but I let that thought go and realized how freeing it felt that she knew for herself what was real about Easter, what wasn’t, and was happy and content all the same. We’ve never really chatted about the bunny anyway, so for us, it feels like one more way to simplify and focus on the fun and deeper purpose of the holiday.

It's our hope that these traditions will not only connect our kiddos (and ourselves) more deeply to Easter, and center our minds on Christ, but that through this study, it's something that we can continue to be mindful all year long. President Spencer W. Kimball said that "perhaps the most important word in the dictionary is remember." And that's our hope. To remember.

Photos from the Easter egg Hunt:

 Our Jerusalem Dinner:

 Making Sugar Cookies!

 Some of Alexis' drawings!

Loved Tayler’s interpretation of this!

Disney World Part 4 - Animal Kingdom

Our last day we headed to Animal Kingdom. Wow! So awesome to see how they integrated nature and wildlife through out the park!

Favorites there were: the safari, expedition Everest, Dinosaur and the raft ride - where max was in the spot to get soaked! Abigail and I watched a Finding Nemo musical and it was simply fantastic to see the detail of those shows! We wrapped up this day early enough to head home before it was too late!

Looking back on this experience, keeping track of everyone, planning for the unknowns, and simply not knowing where or what to expect can feel overwhelming. I wanted to document a few tools I've been using in everyday life that I found helpful in a higher sensory experience. They helped me shift away from "overwhelm" and back into the present.

There were a few times I was in line for a ride thinking "oh - if we had gone to this other spot, we would have been able to do .... differently!" My natural self would get stuck in this train of thought, and I'd beat myself up for making the "wrong choice." Instead of staying in this train of thought, as soon as I became aware of what I was thinking, I re-centered myself back into the NOW by breathing. Inhaling and counting to four, pausing, exhaling counting to six, pausing. This mindful breath was huge for me to practice being present again. As I would breathe, I would look around and notice the details of where we were, express gratitude, and intentionally find a way to connect more deeply with the moment. It enabled me really enjoy who I was with and let go of the worry of "missing out" or "not enough." It enabled me to disconnect from the "perfect scenario" in my mind (that really doesn't exist), and reconnect with what matters most. I found myself smiling and laughing more and embracing the flow so much easier.

It was also helpful to let go of labeling experiences. My perception is often based on my perspective, and the broader I can take that perspective, the more balanced I feel. I practiced this often. And found I was better able to laugh over a situation rather than get angry or worried over it.

And a couple things we just keep laughing over (probably had to of been there to find the humor, but these will be fun to look back on!):

"Hello...do you have any space shuttles taking you to the Magic Kingdom?"

"How many are in your group?" "6." "Oh, sorry. We only have room for 5. We'll be back to your group of 6 the next time around."

The growth of spring

Okay, I had to laugh at myself. The amount of pictures I've taken of blooms, plants, green grass, and pretty much anything that resembles spring is a little ridiculous. Clearly I'm excited. But honestly, I LOVE seeing the growth and feeling the change in the air. Not going to lie, I actually really do enjoy winter, but those final weeks of winter are such a struggle. The days seem endless, we've done everything I feel like I 'want' to do in winter, and I hit a point where I'm tired of the cold!

And seeing these photos made me realize I should have a little more love for those final weeks of winter. The toughest part of the season (for me) is simultaneously developing the whole new chapter - spring! I just can't see it yet.

The funny thing about spring is the actual growth behind what I'm seeing happens much sooner than I can see it. Those little buds are hard at work long before they become buds. Change happens deep within the roots that triggers a series of progression. Plants are growing long before we see the beauty transpire.

Which makes me ask:

"What unseen growth happens in my life?"

I've found that change is usually kinda hard. Okay, sometimes it's really hard. And if change doesn't happen on 'my timeline' I'm frustrated. I'm ready to throw in the towel. If I don't see a result, why continue trying?

In my experience, there are loads of times where I've started something new only to feel foolish. So many setbacks. Failures. Trials. And oodles of weeds to work through.

I remember when we decided our oldest was 'old enough' to start reading scriptures as a family. He was two, and we thought bedtime would be a great way to finish the day. It was a habit we wanted to create, and while it seemed like a good idea, we soon found it fell far from any expectation. I picked up the picture/story version of the scriptures and imagined he'd sit on my lap while we read. In actuality, he rolled all over the floor, jumped, tore the pages, ran all over the room and did anything but listen. I was frustrated. If we were doing something that seemed right, why wasn't it working? It would have been super easy to shelf that idea for a future 'someday.'

Wisely, the Lord has reminded me again and again of this scripture. I think because I need to hear it. Over and over. And I've learned (over and over), the truth behind it is very real:

"Now you may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6

Often change and growth are both small and simple.

In the case of reading scriptures together, it was simple: change our approach. Instead of fighting against who he was, or giving up completely, we could choose to learn how to embrace where he was at. As an active guy, he wanted to participate. Through trial (and error), we learned he LOVED acting out the scenes and loved listening if we told the story and pointed to the pictures rather than reading the words directly. Over time, as he became more familiar (and older), he began to tell the stories. Gradually, he began to sit and listen. As other children were added into the 'bedtime routine,' he welcomed the opportunity to act out stories for them. Now, with a habit of family scripture study (while we still do miss nights from time to time), I'm grateful for his reminders to get us back on track.

Looking back, there have been loads of fails in the process (and I have no doubt this will be an ongoing continual work in progress - especially as schedules continue to change and kiddos grow). But, had I completely stopped all efforts, and 'shelved the idea' for when it would be right, I wonder when the 'right time' would have (if ever) happened. I know we would have missed out on those sweet memories of foam swords and laughter (he loved acting out the battle scenes the most).

Just as much as I seem to never grasp the complexity behind a simple beautiful springtime blossom, I don't think I'll ever fully grasp how much the Lord guides and lifts in small and simple ways. It's humbling to think how thoughts build on one another like an individual blossom. Choosing to listen and take action on those thoughts - no matter how small - are what build those blossoms into the framework of an entire tree.

Small and simple is a lesson I am continually learning from. Life is FULL of springtime. There is so much good. So much warmth and growth happening. I simply need to remember to see it.

Start Somewhere

10 weeks after having my fourth baby, I felt tired and exhausted. Tackling a newborn, unpacking a new home and trying to be a mom to my three other kids was taking everything I had. I'd been given the all clear to begin exercising at 6 weeks, but other than a walk around the neighborhood, hadn't done much else. I felt like I had no time to go back to my previous self. I felt like my body just didn't have the energy to commit to one more thing. I felt like I needed to wait until things slowed down.

What was happening to me? I was rationalizing. Looking for reasons not to start. Finding ways to delay what would really help me feel better. Why? Because I knew it was going to be hard. And I felt like I was doing enough hard things.

In that moment, I made the decision to try. I've been an advocate for exercise and clean eating for years. I needed to practice what I had preached for so long. I planned to go for a run the next morning. Our new homesite was next to trails, "why not take advantage of them?" I thought.

Before I could blink the next morning arrived and I was standing on my front porch looking at the trail in front of me. I mentally planned to run to a specific spot on the trail. The distance seemed more than doable and I began.  The crisp morning air shot into my lungs. It felt invigorating.

Until about the 6th stride. When I remembered that I don't actually like to run. 30 seconds after that, my heart was pounding, and my side began to ache. I was so close to home, I wanted to cry, quit, lay down on the grass and go to sleep - anything but continue.

I forced my legs to keep moving. To the outside eye, this was anything from a run. My body felt awkward. I had no rhythm. From an ariel view, I looked like a sluggish, jiggly snail moving across the earth. At least that's how I felt.

I battled every step. The loud voice in my head was shouting at me to quit. To sit on the park bench, splash water on my face from the nearby creek and walk home "so sweaty." But I wasn't going to lie to myself. I wasn't going to let myself stop. I needed to keep moving.

In an effort to distract myself, I began focusing on everything outside. I would mentally say the name of what I saw. House. Tree. Dog. Then I counted my steps. Anything to keep my mind from letting the quitting voice take over.

I approached the initial point on the trail where I had planned to slow and walk. I'm a visual person, and had chosen a place with an actual line to it. It was at the end of a bridge. Once I crossed the bridge, I could walk, recover, do whatever I needed to do.

I so badly wanted to change the line. Even to just the beginning of the bridge. But my feet pounded on the pavement, the sound eventually changing to the pounding on the wooden bridge and as if I had fought through an endurance marathon, I crossed it.

Then I threw up.  (okay probably a little too much information, but hey, I'm honest.)

It took everything I had to make it across the bridge. As a group fitness instructor, I often reference a perceived scale of exertion (or a 1-10 scale). Always keeping ourselves below a 10 so that we can maintain control. Well, I felt a solid 10.

But crossing that line changed me. Because I had managed to do something that felt really hard. I didn't quit. I had made myself stronger. All the feelings from the night (and weeks) before had been erased.

I smiled. The blood pumping through me made me feel warm from the inside out. True sweat dripped off my nose as if my body was telling me thank you for allowing it to work.

As an added bonus, each time I now cross the bridge, I have a spring in my step and smile on my face reminding myself of that moment. Of starting somewhere.

Want to start somewhere?

1.  Commit Mentally. No one, especially a new mom, has the time or energy sitting in excess to start exercising. It has to be a mindful decision that you are going to commit yourself to.

2.  Take action. We can think about starting all we want. But we need to take those first steps. Choose some type of fitness program - at home, with a group, inside, outside, on land, on water. Decide what it is and schedule time to make it happen.

3.  Embrace your present self. If you're a new mom or if you've lost the routine of exercise, or if you've never really started exercise before, be realistic. You are not the person you were 10 years ago. That's actually a good thing. But we need to listen to our present body. And, no we don't need to push ourselves to a 10 like yours truly. Set a goal that is realistic. Then move forward.

4.  Cross your starting line. I call it a starting line because getting through the first workout is going to feel extremely difficult. But once you do it, you've started on your journey to becoming a stronger version of you.

5.  Keep moving forward. I actually chose a workout that I personally don't love. That's okay. I finished it. Moving forward, I found something else that I loved a lot more. It doesn't mean I won't still run on occasion, or that I might enjoy it more someday, but my present self needed a different option to succeed. Because we're more likely to do something if we actually like it.

Dear mom walking on the trail

To the mom walking on the trail:

We were starting our family hike when we saw your family finishing. I first noticed your two boys. They looked pretty dirty, and wore the biggest smiles. Your husband was next and held your youngest on his shoulders. The little one bounced and had a range of emotions - clearly living and expressing the present moment. Your husband was wearing a baseball cap. He looked a little tired (we can relate), but he looked ahead with a smile and protective eye. Next to him was your daughter.  Her hair was crazy from an afternoon of running and jumping outside (we can relate to that too). And her cute white shirt was no longer white.She was looking up. Initially I thought she was looking at her dad, but then I saw her smile focused on her little brother.

You were the last one I saw. The moment I saw your face, I knew it had been a difficult adventure. Maybe the trip didn't go as planned. Maybe someone had to use the bathroom, maybe meltdowns happened. You might have had a long to do list in your head (like I do), and as much as you were happy they got some energy out, you were struggling with the juggle of it all.

As I watched you walk, a little slower pace than your family, I noticed your arms were full. Water bottles, a jacket, and a diaper bag probably full of wipes/snacks and tissues like me. Like your husband, your eyes were on your children ahead, hoping they didn't run too far too fast.

It's then that I smiled at you. You didn't see me, and that's okay. I totally get it. I know I often miss those smiles too.

But I wanted thank you. As we were beginning, your family reminded me that we were going to create wonderful memories. No, they wouldn't be perfect. And there would probably be some unexpected moments, but choosing to unplug together in a plugged in world was going to be worth our afternoon.

Thanks for showing my family that a little dirt is okay, legs will probably get tired, and we can choose to work as a team when things feel tough. Thanks for walking a little slower to remind me to walk a little slower, and maybe take a moment for myself. To breathe and feel the mountain air.

I wanted to tell your daughter thanks. Her face actually reminded me to look up, which is how we even took this photo. Standing on stumps, encircled by trees, the sight above was breathtaking. Every direction was beautiful. I couldn't resist capturing my kiddos (well three of them at least) soaking the beauty in.

And, as you were walking to the car, I know you didn't see the radiant joy coming out of your children's eyes and faces. But I want you know that we did. We felt it. We soaked it in. And we took the light from your family with ours onto the trail.

Thank you mom walking on the trail for reminding me what experiences are truly about.

With love,

a fellow mom

Creating Family Dinner in 3 Ways

During the late afternoon to evening window I do one thing with complete consistency:

I pray.

And try to breathe.

Emotions bounce between my excited, energetic school-age kiddos and my little ones who pull at my legs and fiercely want all my attention. Throw in car time for after school activities, and it's a whirlwind of chaos. I often pray the heavens will open and remind my children that while there are four of them, there is only one of me. And as I focus on math or spelling with one kiddo, that I'll react patiently when my toddler dumps out all of the toys in the entire house. Or while I'm cleaning up my toddler and her mess, that I'll listen to my seven year old share her favorite story from recess. Or while I'm having my older kiddos do their 'jobs' for each day, that I'll remember they are still learning the process. While it would be so much faster and easier to do myself, enabling them to learn is important to me (one goal I have as a mother is to teach them to be self-sufficient and independent human beings - much easier said than done).

Most of all, prayer and breathing remind me to mindfully focus on the now. Embrace today and all the learning and growing that comes with it. Eliminate my "to dos" to be more open and available to really listen. EnJOY time with them.

At some point during this window, we eat dinner. Part of me imagines dinner a little like a Norman Rockwell painting where we relax, eat and enjoyably wind down together. More often than not, dinner is full of spills, disagreements on who's sitting where, food-eating protests and opinions of all kinds.

In lieu of throwing in the towel, I feel a deep responsibility to continue family dinners. Even if they aren't perfect or tidy (thank goodness for vacuums!).

Because I recognize the value within family dinner. Studies over the past 15 years have shown that family dinner is good for the spirit, mind and overall health of all family members. Regular family dinners are linked with lower rates of substance abuse, teen pregnancy and depression. And I love hearing that stories told around dinner help kiddos build resilience.* With consistency and time, these small and simple efforts really do add up.

A few years ago, as my oldest was a little guy, I learned that dinner as a mother is very different from previous dinners I'd had in life. Feeding a little person while trying to feed yourself resulted in a learning curve, a new perspective, and many cold meals. I began to dig deep as to how I wanted our family dinner to look. What could I create in our home to establish consistency?

1. Simplify with a plan. Eliminate the daily question of "what's for dinner?" by planning dinners ahead. I prefer a weekly plan as I've found our schedule seems to tweak and change on a weekly basis. I plan on Sunday, with a list ready for shopping on Monday. It saves money and time with less trips to the store and avoids the last minute panic. I'm able to plug in the crock-pot or quick dinners with hectic nights, and pre-prep foods to simplify dinner for another night.
2. Be consistent. I've found phrases like "a little or a lot" help give kiddos freedom while still eating something. Consistently cooking one meal for the whole family (rather than having different menus) simplifies prep, clean up and teaches my kiddos about variety. Consistently including a variety of real foods enables them to learn how to fuel their bodies. Especially with veggies. I read once it takes between 8-20 times for a child to be offered a specific food before they actually choose the food. That's crazy! Consistently involving the kiddos they are usually more appreciative and willing to actually eat dinner. They set and clear off the table, rotate choosing a meal for the week, and my older ones help with food prep. Sharing the work load lessens the burden.
3. Relax. Paper plates or a picnic outside can be so fun. Theme nights are a favorite - a fun fact from different areas of the world as we try a new food (I have curry and sushi lovers from this), tying them in with days of the week (taco tuesday!), or creating an at-home restaurant.

As much as I want my kiddos to learn that fueling our bodies with good foods is important, I want them to learn MOST that FAMILY is important. That our time with them is something we treat as a priority, not a stress, or another thing to do because we are hungry.

*research information from the familydinnerproject.org

Mom Life: Tackling Transitions in 10 Steps

Appointments. School. Work. Groceries. Or maybe it's just heading to the library to return some books. Transitions. These 10 steps help this sneaker momma stay a little more sane.

If I had to pick a phrase that fit my natural self for moments like these, it'd be:

"Let's get the show on the road."

Not the best fit as a momma with young kiddos.

When my oldest two were four and two, I was in a hurry. Ironically headed out to teach a yoga class. Shoes, bathrooms, water, socks feeling funny, wanting to bring a toy in the car, it felt so complicated to do something so simple. When my oldest was finally starting to buckle, I snapped:

“Dude, let’s GO! I need to leave! Just hurry and buckle it!”

The wise little guy looked up and said, “mom, why are you so different when it’s time to go somewhere? We are here now. What is the hurry?”

I was speechless.

Listening to his words changed me. Why was I always creating a 'hurry?'

As I taught class, I saw my participants with new eyes. They were so unique as they transitioned from one pose to another. Although I cued the same movement for everyone, some were fast, looking forward to the next official pose. Others were deliberate and intentional. While slower, they treated each moment with as much importance as the next.

Stepping off my mat, I reflected. Was I powering through something simply to get to the next place? Was I missing out on what was right in front of me? How could I change?

I wanted to learn how to strip off the 'rushed anxious natural self' let go of the 'frazzled overwhelmed self' and to treat moments more mindfully.

That can be tough. And after many failed attempts, and forgotten items (thankfully still remembered the kids!), I’ve found these steps helpful:

1. Allow for extra time. A cushion enables me to observe rather than push. Gives kiddos an opportunity to do something for themselves rather than me doing it for them simply because I can do it faster.
2. Let them to do things for themselves. Time is needed (see #1). And depending on the personal development of the kiddo, this will vary by age. Self-preparation teaches responsibility. Packing bags, zipping zippers, tying shoes, buckling - loads of 'can dos.'
3. Breathe and pause. Sounds simple, but 3 seconds of a deep inhale and exhale is a game changer for me. At the very least, I am more self aware of WHAT I am saying, HOW I am saying it, and WHY.
4. Be grateful. I’ll never forget a wise mom who probably felt my anxiety as I waited for my four year old to tie his own shoes. Everyone else was ready to go, and my guy was taking his time – jumping, singing songs – putting on shoes was a side show to the main event. Anxious, I apologized for his behavior when her calm response changed me completely: “Isn’t it wonderful that he has the ability to do that for himself?” Instead of looking through the lens of what isn’t happening, shifting to a focus of gratitude truly softens my manner and heart.
5. Tidy before leaving. Walking in the door to a big mess after being out is a stress trigger for me. Pocketing an extra :10 minutes before leaving to clean up – even if it’s just tidying up the countertops or family room – make wonders mentally when coming home.
6. Allow kiddos to forget. This can be tough. But, part of teaching responsibility is allowing them to learn from forgetfulness. In some cases, they only need to forget once. In other instances, they become a little more resourceful through solving with a plan B.
7. Prep with expectation. Create a timeframe and break it down. Give younger ones reminders to use the potty. At home, I started the "you can go now or in 5 minutes" to avoid the public bathroom experience, unless of course it’s a curious kiddo who wants to see the color of soap at every bathroom, then any reminders are helpless, and focusing on #3 and #4 are best. Headed to soccer practice? Ask open-ended questions (“What do you need at practice?”) rather than commands (“Go get your soccer ball and water bottle.”) enables kiddos to learn and think for themselves. Some kiddos benefit more from direct questions to help their minds break down steps that need to happen before leaving. Prepping with expectation also helps after doing something fun. “5 more minutes at the park” gives little ones a sense of control to wrap up their favorite things before leaving.
8. Give items a consistent "home." Yes, having a place for shoes and soccer cleats makes them much easier to find when it’s time to go. But car keys? I was the master at misplacing them every single day until I realized they needed a home. Life changing.
9. Prep for the next trip as soon as you get home. Still working on this, but it's helpful when I do it! Used the last diaper? Put a new one in the bag right away. Notice something needed a change in the church bag? Swap it out before putting it away for the week. It saves from scrambling at the last minute.
10. Be kind and help each other out. Turns out we aren’t robots, and that’s a good thing. All routines and systems will have off days. We all seem to forget something important at some point, and thank goodness for reminders and help. Everyone has a unique learning curve. Recognizing we’re all on this journey together and showing some love, patience and empathy go a long way.

While it's great to read a list and (hopefully) spark ideas, if I try to tackle all ten items at once, it feels overwhelming! I've found the most success focusing on 1-2 ideas at a time, then building and tweaking from there.

Mindfully focusing on transitions helps me to be more present and a better listener. Better able to observe quiet promptings. To look upward and outward a little more. And usually able to make it out the door with matching shoes (just don't look at my socks).

Using Gratitude to embrace today

"There's always tomorrow..."
"I didn't get to today, but hopefully I can tomorrow."

I've repeated those phrases many times. Thinking of them as an outlet for a better time ahead. Or an excuse for not doing what I truly wanted in the day.

As common as those phrases are, they really don't have much meaning. The future is only as important as the value we place on the present. Allowing my mindset to shift from a 'tomorrow will be better' focus into a 'today truly matters' approach, I begin to realize and embrace living in the NOW.

One morning our one year old woke up early. And wanted nothing more than to snuggle. I was presented with a tender moment to cherish with a typically wiggly/curious one year old. Did I sit and hope for what I could do instead? Or did I live in the moment?

I savored it. Her smell. Her soft skin. Her relaxed small body that will never be as young tomorrow as she is today. That's a moment I'm grateful to remember.

As I sat, I realized how many moments and "small gifts" can be so easily missed if our mind isn't where today is. Waiting for what isn't instead of living in what is now.

I've missed many opportunities. But that's okay. Because the intent is there to search for those gifts and tender mercies from the Lord that remind me of what matters most. Listening to the inner voice of hope, love and positivity. And letting go of fear, doubt and failure.

Today is where I can create change. Today is where I can create new habits. Today is where I can look with love. Today is where I can invest in myself. Action today matters more than a future plan.

MINDFUL MOMENT:  How does embracing the present happen? I'll be the first to admit it's an ongoing process. Feels like more of a learned skill than a natural action. But shifting the mindset to a feeling of gratitude is a tool I often use. When the actual moment is different from the expectation, I recognize one feeling of gratitude for the reality of the moment.  Often, it shifts my mindset back into the NOW.

Expectation vs. Reality

Lesson. Learned.

It was the middle of summer. We were headed out the door. Kids on bikes and me pushing the jogging stroller ready to run (okay jog) our usual route. We'd found a comfortable groove the the crew and exercise, sunshine and fresh air. The babe rode in the jogging stroller, kiddos rode their bikes, and I jogged.  I liked the routine.

Before leaving the garage, my six year old turned to me and said "mom, I want to run with you today."

***insert long pause and some crinkled eyebrows***

Mentally, I was predicting how disastrous/frustrating this would be if she couldn't run.  Her suggestion was not part of my plan. I was clearly internally irritated, but took a breath, faked a smile and said, "why not?"

Off we went. I expected her to struggle, ask to sit, and to want to give up. I expected a huge gap between my two on bikes and my six year old trying to run with me somewhere in-between. But reality came through completely different from my expectation.

She ran HARD. And kept going strong. As if the wind lifted her. All the way to the end.

The reality of this experience reminded me of something. This experience, like many, wasn't about ME and MY expectations, but allowing my child to believe in herself, take action, and ACCOMPLISH something on her terms. Often the REALITY of these experiences turns out much better than any plan or expectation I'd made.

How many times do I "think they can't" when they really can?
How often do I think I can't, when I really could?
How often do we sell ourselves short?

Self doubt can destroy us. Confidence can lift us.

"If you believe you can, you will. If you believe you can't, you won't."

MINDFUL MOMENT: Expectation and reality can lie vastly separate from one another.  When I recognize I'm internally 'expecting' a negative reality with those closest to me, I do my best to breathe and choose to look at the situation from the other's perspective.  It helps remove the frustration and replace it with more understanding.

Three ways to feel Stronger instead of overwhelmed

"You're so strong."

I heard those words in the grocery store isle one day after bumping into an acquaintance I hadn't seen for about six years. Of course, we'd stayed in touch through social media, but face to face...well, we all know how life can get.

She said it after listening to me recap how we landed back in the same city together. In short - 4 moves in 6 years to three different states, the most recent unexpected move/life change happened in a three month window: selling/buying/building a home/having our fourth baby/husband working in a different state while I wrapped up life in old state/moving out of home/kids starting new school/living in temporary housing with a newborn/moving into home.

Our conversation was brief. We had hungry little babies, and other little ones tugging at us as we spoke. But as we departed, her words rang in my ears.

"You're so strong."

Seriously? I felt anything but strong. In fact, I felt pretty dang squishy - mentally and physically. Eight weeks post-parturm with your fourth one will do that. And I felt tired. Overwhelmed. Unsure. And anxious. Lots of change had happened really fast. And while it was all for the good, it sure felt...well, fast. Drowning probably would have been a better description.

But in life we all have choices to make. And as much as I could choose to continue drowning, I could also choose to start swimming.

Three Ways to I've Found to Feel Stronger when life seems overwhelming:

Start Somewhere. One small step. Sometimes as much as I want to feel different, I am comfortable with what I already know, and change seems a bit overwhelming. Focusing on a small tweak and building from there has helped me feel success and build momentum.

Have FAITH. I've found it is so easy to listen to the loud negative voice telling me I'm not worth the effort, or listing every excuse why change shouldn't happen today. While I feel like it takes effort, focusing on the quiet voice that trusts and believes in me gives me the power to move forward.

Start Again. Because sometimes I take two steps back. As much as it may be a fail, it doesn't make me (or the process) a failure. Learning from what didn't work, and moving forward enable growth to continue.