6 Things that helped me enJOY vacation with an almost 2 year old

We recently spent 5 days traveling to Washington D.C. as a family. It was awesome. Auh-mazing. I'm grateful for the memories we created. I look forward to posting highlights soon.

But, there were plenty of bumps in the road. Our family is entering some new territory with the ages of kiddos. My older ones are like sponges ready to take in these awesome experiences. Up to this point, we've kept much of our travel close and simple - often centered around what works for the youngest child. This was the first time we chose a trip with the primary focus around our older kiddos. And with that shift, there was a juggle of balance. Would I still enjoy it? Would I feel like I was missing out on experiences? Would I be stressed/anxious or grouchy the whole time? Because let's be honest. Taking a one-almost-two year old anywhere is chaotic. She is a joy. A hot mess. And everything in-between.

And let's just say there were a lot of tantrums. I, and probably every surrounding passenger around me, couldn't wait to get off the airplane on our way there. The two most memorable meltdowns were:

• Finishing an awesome trip through Arlington Cemetery - when she realized her older sister was on her dad's shoulders, and that she needed to be the one there. Screaming to get out of the stroller and then running downhill only to trip and land on her forehead. Which then of course resulted in more crying/screaming. Only to look up and see that her sister was STILL on dad's shoulders. Oh, the tears in an otherwise silent surrounding. And by silent, I don't mean empty. The walkways were chuck full of tour groups - from high schools to seniors. Let's just say she and I had a very brisk trot to the visitors center.
• I chuckle thinking back to the Smithsonian Art Museum. While it was one of my favorite places, it was also a bit of a circus act as the hubs and I tag teamed her with the other three kiddos. Turns out it's a little tough for her to comprehend that you actually can't touch anything inside the whole museum. Except the kids section in the museum gift shop. Where we totally caved and bought her the cutest singing bird stuffed animal.

Between the crazy, there was joy. Her wonder at the simplicity of something I probably would have otherwise overlooked. At George Washington's mill she loved feeling the stones the building was made of and kept pointing at them in awe. At the memorials, she loved watching the water fountains. They were so calming.

It was a joy to watch the connection she made with her siblings. Sure, they live together, but experiencing new things pulled them closer. I loved that uninterrupted bonding time.

I made this list as a way to remind myself that there actually were things that helped (maybe it was all coincidental, but I'm going to go with the idea that they helped prevent at least some unknown tantrums). Whether these things happened independently or together, I felt more mindful, aware and present.

Six things I found helpful to shift my focus to enJOYing vacation with my almost two year old:

1. Keep expectations low. Sounds obvious, but the less I expected of her, the less surprised I was when she had a melt down. I felt more grounded and calm instead of frustrated and hot. And I enjoyed her happy moments without holding onto the burden of a 'stress hangover.'
2. Set the stage. My little one isn't much of a talker at this point, but boy, she understands a lot. I tried to talk as much as I could to her, and I feel like it helped. It was fun to have her point to things she knew and recognized (trees, birds, ducks, flags) when she might not be able to grasp something the older kids were enjoying. I found I captured more as well.
3. Pack familiar food/snacks. This was so helpful. I actually threw a bunch of snacks I knew she liked in our suitcase for us to use the whole trip. It was so handy to pull something out she was familiar with (every day) and let her munch. And let's be honest, I'm cranky if I'm hungry too.
4. Pack a bag of tricks for the airplane. I feel like all kids respond a little differently, but with Abby (at 22 months) - she loved stickers, coloring with markers (we used the Color Wonder Crayola ones), window gel clings, new snacks, lipgloss and books. She had ZERO interest in pretty much everything else.
5. Be patient. And as hard as this can be, I found by putting myself in her shoes instead of asking why she was behaving a certain way helped me realize she might be tired, overstimulated, something might be bothering her (too much noise), or she simply doesn't know how to express her emotions. Pausing, breathing and trying to understand where she might be coming from helped me feel calmer.
6. Smile. At her, at the hubs, at the kids. Because making memories isn't about a perfect picture or a perfect moment. Often it's the messy moments or the ones that don't go as planned that can turn into the most beautiful of adventures.

Spring Trip to the Park

We woke up this morning with a completely free schedule. I let the kids choose what they wanted to do and they picked a trip to a park! We settled on one in West Jordan - my kids nicknamed it the "Castle Park." I love the variety offered at this park. It feels like there is something for each age of my kiddos. Gladly there is a fence around the whole thing, but since there are a variety of exits, we do go over the 'don't cross here' when we first get there. Lots of swinging, sliding, hide and go seek, and obstacle course routes. We packed a simple lunch (gotta love PB&J and grapes!) and threw out a blanket. The best part of a picnic lunch is the clean up - a simple shake of the blanket! I always want to remember the simplicity and joy behind being together outdoors. So grateful for these four kiddos!

Coach Majerus

Coach Majerus passed away a few weeks ago.  And, while I feel like I saw a bunch of reports and tributes about his legacy as a Coach, there was so little published about Coach off the court.  I noticed a few of the write ups I loved most were from those who were closest to him.  I feel like they really captured the essence of who he really was.  Sure, he was a great Coach, with a great record, but outside of basketball, he was just as passionate about developing people and genuinely helping wherever he could.

I remember when I went in to interview for the position.  Fresh out of high school, I headed up and met with the full time secretary.  She gave me the run down of jobs I'd be doing in the office and said that our job was to make it so Coach could just think about basketball.  And nothing else.  She thought I was a good fit, but told me I'd need to meet with Coach before anything was a go.  I headed up to his hotel (he never worked in the office), where in between phone calls and chicken scratch notes on a paper he asked me what my plans were, if I could work hard and if I'd listen.  And that was it.  He moved on to business as usual as I scrambled to find a pen and paper to write down all the information he was giving me to pass along to everyone at the office.  Before I walked out he told me one last thing.  "you can work here until you graduate, but that is it.  You can't stay.  Then you'll need to go get a real job.  And don't date my players.  It's a distraction."

The next four years were a bit of a blur.   Work was challenging, extremely intense and busy, but I genuinely enjoyed it.  I loved the energy, the chaos, and the constant managing of a bazillion different things at once.  And, I did my part to make sure he could worry less about everything else in his life, and focus just on basketball.  Sometimes that was easy.  Sometimes that was tough.  But you learned real quick how to fix it the next time.  I don't know when, but I remember getting to the point where I felt like I was doing less scrambling and more predicting.  Like any job, you can start to see patterns, and finding those patterns in Coach, while complicated, was refreshing when you already had the answer to something he didn't expect.  But, like any mentor, he'd clue in on your capability, and then push you some more.

Over the years, I remember a few times where I really needed his help or opinion.  Like when the dance team really needed help with getting some shoes and sweats.  And how he didn't hesitate for one second.  Or when I had to tell him that I was dating one of his players.  Which he just laughed and smiled a bit, and then gave dating advice.  Then when I told him I was marrying one of his players.  Again, he smiled, and then gave lots of marriage advice.  Or when I really wanted to leave for a study abroad program, and still come back to a job.  And he didn't hesitate to tell me to go, gain experiences and to come right back.  And then, when I graduated, and driving home from the airport that summer, I told him I was ready to take his advice, and move on to a career.  Knowing how stressful transitions were for him, I felt terrible, but he never once complained.  He told me I was ready, I needed to move on, and he thought I'd be great in advertising.  Then he said he'd get me a job.  Which he did (well, he got me the interview, the rest was up to me).   

I think back on how genuine and giving he was.  I can't even count the number of gifts he sent, letters he wrote, or contributions he made.  Not to mention how he remembered every birthday, and all the holidays - including secretary's day.  He bought us lunch at least a couple times a week.

One year for his birthday, we (as in the three secretaries), didn't know what to give the guy who has everything, so we all donated some of our money to a cancer fund in his name.  I still remember how he was teary eyed when he looked at the card.  Then he moved right into business as usual.

He created such stress and perfection.  Things organized, perfect grammar, everyone on time, and everything coordinated immediately.  It was tough to pull off (sometimes it didn't happen, or you'd wake up in the middle of the night panicking over one tiny detail), but it taught me so much.  So much of how and why I write, I learned from him.  Because when it was wrong, he took the time to correct it.  And then had me do it again.  And again.  Like the college professor that never left your side for four years.

If you ask Mike about his memories of Coach, his fall more in line with those you heard from the basketball players that were interviewed.  I think a part of him wished he could have seen more of the Coach I saw.  Funny enough, I never saw Coach as "Coach."  He didn't allow the secretaries in practice - and on the rare occasion that you were supposed to be close or available, he still wanted you as far away from the floor as possible.

Often, I'd be working along side him as he multi-tasked an interview or two.  He was unbelievable at trying to maximize his work time off of the court.  His memory was astounding.  It would surprise me to listen to him recall facts and specific details from not only basketball, but literary quotes, or childhood memories.  My heart still races with anxiety when I think about how he'd do all of this while driving to the airport to catch his flight that he was late for (again).  I can't even count how many times I held my breath as he sped his way down the hill.  Of course, I was never just a passenger, instead I was writing as fast as possible to jot down all of the contacts he wanted called, appointments set up, you name it.

Did the guy love food?  You bet.  Anytime I scheduled a vacation, he'd invent some reason to be sure to catch me the day before I'd leave.  He'd ask where I was headed, then name two of his favorite restaurants, the location and who to talk to for the meal.  Then he'd slip me some cash so I could actually eat there.  And then follow up.  Even now, Mike and I headed to a popular place in MN before we left town, and found this pic on the wall.

Upon leaving, he made a point to meet with me on my last day.  He stood awkwardly and covered all the business details for the day and wanted to be sure I'd trained the new girl well.  Then I could tell he really wanted to give me some advice.  Wrapping his arm over his head and scratching it, you could tell he was thinking.  Then he said, "You're married to a good guy.  You're young, you're fit.  Go have a bunch of kids and a good family."  Then he gave me a big hug.  At the time, I thought his advice so odd as I was just starting off on a "career" but as with most advice that you get, with time, I now see where he was coming from.  So grateful I had such a unique chance to get to know him.

Rest peacefully, Coach.

More Pics

At this point, you might be thinking that all I do is walk around outdoors and take photos of the kiddos at random, but it really isn't the case. As this is the 3rd "outdoor" photo post in a row, I do have to say these pics had purpose:

1 - to fill up the remainder of a Christmas calendar I do every year for the grandparents.
2 - to hopefully work as a Christmas card photo (which one did)
3 - to cross off one of the things on my list of photoing these kiddos doing some of the things we do all the time anyway before the year was over.

There you go.

Kites

My dad has always enjoyed kite flying, and we had some great kite flying days in my childhood. We'd head to the high school football field, and sometimes would drive out to Skull Valley for an afternoon of kite flying/gun shooting picnics. Anytime we went downtown for a night out at Trolley Square, we'd always stop at the kite store to see if there were any new kites on display. At home, we'd have an occasional magazine dedicated to kites (and possibly other flying outdoor toys) where we'd study each page. Over the years, he collected a handful of kites - some more complicated to fly than others. I had two favorite kites. One, an elephant - gray with a dangling nose that if flown just right, would look like his trunk was swinging around for a drink of water, or possibly to scratch his ear. The other, was a dragon. Colorful and with a super long tail, this kite needed just the right amount of wind to fly. Too little, and we wouldn't get the tail off. Too much, and the tail would flip and flip causing the delicate material to rip and tear. I have vivid memories of when the wind was just right. As I would stand and watch the dragon sail, twist and turn in the sky I'd imagine myself twisting and flowing so effortlessly in the wind. Enjoying the sunshine and welcoming each turn of the wind as if it were a new adventure.

The last time my mom was here for a visit, she told me she had to pick up some kites for the kids, per grandpa's request. I'm not sure if he'd pictured these tiny kites for the kids or not, but, it was a bit early in the season, and all that was available.

She left, and they've sat. Just waiting for the right chance to be used. And, that day finally came.

Max is at the age where he is patient enough for the process (and able to stand still long enough!). This was actually his first time successfully launching the kite, and keeping it flying! No shots of the success (I spent most of my time chasing Alexis - who loved running around with her little kite, until it got stuck around a big bush).

And, while these tiny kites were no dragon (or elephant), and I thought they would never make it off the ground, they surprised me. Watching the grin on Max's face as he stood and watched his kite fly and twist in the air was so rewarding. One of those parenting moments where you can relish in and enjoy the memory. And then want to express gratitude to your parents for giving you those childhood memories.

Thanks dad for the kites.