16

I have much to catch up on with our adventures this summer, but I must take a moment to write a few thoughts while they are fresh on my mind.

Today, Mike and I celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary and have known one another for over 18 years.

This past weekend we were able to spend a big portion of our time with the youth ages 14-18 from our church. Admittedly, Mike was just coming back from being out of town, and prior to that the kids and I had just gotten back in town from our summer trip to Utah (more on that later), and there was part of us hoping for a quiet weekend. But the bigger part of us knew that spending time doing things that fulfill others ultimately fulfills and strengthens us and so we embraced it. Mike was there for the entire conference and was able to hang out and connect with a group of awesome youth. Funny enough, on his first night there, he looked across the room and recognized one of the youth from our Nebraska congregation! It turns out he and his brother were attending conference while in town visiting some family friends. What a small world!

I had been asked to help out with the planning, prep and serving of the food. My main meal was on Saturday afternoon and it was a "prep" meal for the etiquette dinner they were planning to have that night. It was a 5 course lunch - where the youth practiced and learned the ropes for the upcoming dinner. And while part of me had been hoping for an "easy" lunch like deli sandwiches, chips and a cookie, I learned a ton in the planning process of a five course meal, and was super grateful for all those who stepped in to help prep the food! We had salad, rolls, tomato soup (made from scratch by a dear friend who was happy to take on this task!), grilled cheese sandwiches, green beans and brownies. All of the food was meant to be practiced with proper cutting and handling of a fork, spoon and knife, and was meant to be simple. The trickiest part of the meal was that everything needed to be prepared ahead of time and kept warm. But, thanks to lots of great ideas from folks, a whole bunch of crockpots and prepping ahead of time, it went off without a hitch!

As we finished loading the car and I was leaving to pick up the kiddos (who'd been playing at a friends home while we were at the conference), Mike was headed back over to continue serving the capacity he'd been asked. And while I was tired and ready to head home, I couldn't help but pause with gratitude as I looked around.

I find if I am still and listen, nature - specifically trees - seem to speak with wisdom. The shapes, the sounds, the unique characteristics of each one connect to life in so many ways. I love how trees differ in the regions of the county we've been able to live. Since moving to South Florida, I find myself captivated by the big trees and wonder at what intense tropical storms and hurricanes they have survived. Oh the stories they must hold.

Which brings be back to the parking lot. As Mike was walking away, he was parallel to these beautiful Oaks. Moss and small plants growing throughout them, full of shade, and green with life. The parking lot was built around them in order for them to maintain their natural state and beauty. They stood so tall and clustered together in a way that clearly strengthened the whole. Standing under them, you could feel a noticeable temperature drop from the strong Florida summer sun, and the sound of the leaves as the coastal winds softly blew was calming for the whole soul.

In that moment I had a profound connection. So simple, yet it brought tears of gratitude and clarity to my eyes.

I soaked in the beauty of these oaks - the life they have seen pass around them, the strength of their roots to stand tall against the forces of winds, how they continually reached upward toward the light that strengthens them, how they give what they can to benefit the world around them, how their small and simple actions have compounded over time to represent lasting growth, how they are always growing but never seemed rushed and stand still with the present moment - and I saw Mike and our equal partnership in the same light.

Don't get me wrong. I am fully aware that Mike and I are not trees.

May our children know that the principles and wisdom in that moment reminded me of what we strive for in our marriage and commitment to one another - to lean into one another, to lean into and trust God and His plan beyond our own. This path has brought us much more strength and joy than ever trying to stand alone. We have felt the light of Christ strengthen our marriage in ways that simply could not have happened on our own. We are full of weaknesses, but know fully that together, with Christ, we are stronger. As we've embarked on challenges and unexpected changes that life brings - we've chosen to dig into our roots, to grow where were stand, and it's something we hope and strive to continue. To prioritize and focus on lasting growth and let go of what no longer serves us. To create space for learning and expanding our roots or branches. To mend what's broken. To connect and work together. May our children know that it's the small and simple actions where we grow and learn from the most.

Standing in the parking lot, and in the days since, I've felt an abundance of gratitude for walking this journey and adventure with Mike. It was no coincidence that a secretary to a men's college basketball coach and a basketball player would be brought together. Our journey together has been an adventure where we've strengthened our roots together as we've moved through four states, one foreign country and the times and seasons of four children in our home and countless other experiences. May our children remember that as we strive to focus on what matters most more than what matters much. And seeing the beauty of these trees gave me confidence that for Mike and I, our now small trees will continue to grow and expand in ways we've yet to imagine.

To an eternal abundance of learning and growth together - Happy Anniversary, hon.

A new accessory

We’ve entered the chapter of braces! Of course by the time we picked up everyone from school a bit early (it was a tricky appointment slot to schedule!), we were scrambling to get to the appointment on time, but I had to snag a before:

And so glad I did. Here’s the after:

Doesn’t he look awesome?! 

And a pic of the “waiting.” I typically always have a little notepad, gel pens and stickers for things like this. And of course Tayler remembers the books. We see screens and technology for “passing time” as a choice, and as a family, strive to be mindful of how or when that choice is used. For us, teaching kiddos how to be present far outweighs any short-term distraction, so choosing to tolerate carrying around other things keeps us in line with what we strive to teach. We know as each kiddo ages, technology will become a much bigger part of their life - and giving them the capacity to connect to the "now" in non-screen ways is something we strive for as often as possible. It's a small way we really try "practicing presence." But gosh, technology has so much goodness to offer, and I do love the convenience of a camera and being able to take a simple quick photo of a little moment!

Florida Snapshot

We've been here *almost* six months! We've been creating and reworking so many of our old routines into every day life here, and we're feeling a good flow again in this chapter. Which had me thinking about past chapters, and how that was always an evolving thing too. I want to remember the "every day" and am beginning a tradition of "snapshot" posts to remember a recap in one spot. Like a little glimpse into the daily routines. I think I'll aim to do these at the first of each year, but this one begins in April as our "Florida snapshot."

Max is growing. A couple weeks ago he walked into the kitchen with this shirt that didn't even cover his torso and his shoulders occupying the part where the arm sleeve should be. I couldn't help but laugh. It was one of his back-to-school shirts we'd purchased at the beginning of the school year! We took a trip to the Nike outlet (probably his favorite store). He was a little hesitant to hand over his % of paying for new clothes, and was quick to find the bargains, but is now happily wearing shirts that fit.

Alexis tidies up her room every night before going to bed. I love watching her scurry around, give everything a place, and then brush off her hands with a little clapping sound once she's done. 

Sometimes I have to slam on my brakes when driving so that an iguana can cross the road safely. 

Tayler is a bookworm. It's the first thing she does when she comes home from school. She jumps for joy when it's time to go to the library. She takes books EVERYWHERE. She has so much animation to her voice in every story. Abigail LOVES it.

Our car is a disaster of books. 

"That's awkward" and "so disgusting" are two of the funniest phrases I hear from Abby throughout the day.

Socks full of sand end up all over the floor. Never in the laundry.

The girls and I ride bikes to/from school every day. Mike surprised me with a cruiser bike for Christmas and I smile every time I'm on it. My heart is so grateful. In our one day of house hunting and purchasing a home, we didn't know what the to/from school routine would look like, and I say a little prayer of thanks every day to God for being so mindful of little routines that matter so much and that bring so much joy.

I give as many hugs as they let me.

Max's school starts and ends about 2 hours later than the girls. The mornings he doesn't have bball practice, he uses that time to get ahead in homework, or we chat about current events or watch a Studio C clip. It's been awesome. 

I probably say "no thumb" or "take your thumb out of your mouth" to Abby at least 50 times a day. I figure at some point it will sink in. Work in progress.

Mike travels around a week out of every month, although it's broken up into smaller trips throughout. Initially, he was traveling a lot more, but things have settled into more of a consistent routine. I'm so grateful for how he just jumps into life with us as soon as he's home. And cleans the floors. It means the world.

Max received a basketball hoop for Christmas and we knew he would use it like crazy, but had no idea he'd utilize any moment. Anytime we pull into the garage, or get ready to leave, he grabs a basketball and gets a couple quick shots in. He practices every day after school, and his shooting and ball handling have really improved.

Max, Alexis and Tayler are all taking golf lessons. We started the older two in January and Tayler just started last week. They are all in the same hour, and Abigail and I hang out on this grass spot while they have their lesson. We read Elephant and Piggy books, she eats loads of snacks and plays under the trees. We look forward to it every week.

I don't remember the last time I unloaded the dishwasher. Or set the table. Or cleared the table. Or emptied the bathroom garbage cans. Or replaced toilet paper in the bathroom. So grateful to be in a chapter of hands helping and contributing in a variety of ways.

I also don't remember the last time I walked into the little girls room and it hasn't been covered with clothes, dress ups, books, dollhouse toys and all other things. I try to take a big breath as we tackle it each day.

I teach Alexis piano. She's diligent with her practice, and I feel so grateful to be able to do that with her. She wants to learn how to play the violin, and I feel like sometime over the next year we might find a teacher and add that in.

Our car now holds just two car seats. And technically it's one seat and one booster. 

Max builds PowerPoint presentations in his spare time. On all kinds of topics.

I am so grateful for the many different "hats" I've been able to wear during this journey of motherhood, and how much of a team of support Mike has been through it all. From working from home part-time, to teaching group fitness, to starting my own business, to volunteering on PTA boards, my heart is full with the variety of experiences and people I've met and learned so much from. And while I have many thoughts on this, and the flexibility we seem to embrace as women, I will say that I am continually discovering and finding peace with letting go of "hats" from other chapters, and wholeheartedly focusing on life here and now, and the "hats" I am currently wearing. I am hoping to take some time to piece these thoughts together in a way that makes a little more sense for a later post.

The girls play on the playset in our backyard every day. I'm soaking in the time I push Abby on the swings and find that more and more she prefers to be with her older sisters, immersed in whatever creative game they've come up with for the day. And it's absolutely okay.

Our backyard always has a football or soccer ball laying around. 

Max cracks his knuckles relentlessly.

Mike and I wake up around 5:30 for early morning workouts and scripture study, although we've done the same workout videos so many times he and I were just screaming with boredom. This last week we shook up the routine a bit and are both pretty excited about it. 

The girls are always humming or singing something.

One of our favorite moments in the day is to walk into the kitchen in the morning and see the kiddos up and reading their scriptures. It's been a two-year goal-setting work-in-progress in our family, and it still is far from perfect, but it's feeling consistent. We really wanted to create space for them to study on their own and to feel that personal connection first thing. 

Our family Scripture study still happens at night. For now that seems to be working.

We eat out once a week as a family. Usually it's Saturday night. I remember this tradition with my own family growing up and it has been so fun to continue. 

Our "morning devotional" is going strong while the kids eat breakfast. I most often alternate between the Friend and the New Era Magazines. 

I'm making and packing lunch for all three kiddos in the morning. That's a routine that needs to change with ownership handed to them, but we haven't quite gotten there yet. Work in progress.

We are so grateful for the opportunities we have to serve in our church no matter where we live. We think fondly of the time Mike was able to serve as a Bishop for our church congregation in Utah. Currently, he is the Young Men's President (he leads the boys 12-18) and they are in the middle of planning a fundraiser for summer camps. I'm currently serving as a Service Leader. It's been fun to connect with folks in an out-of-the-box way. We're in the midst of a fleece-blanket-making project.

We do our Family Home Evening lessons on Sunday nights. 

Monday nights are "game night." We love it. Transamerica is the game we play most right now.

Max loves scouts. He's set a goal to earn his Eagle.

I can't believe how quickly food disappears. 

Alexis loves attending activity days (girls 8-12 from our church congregation meet together a couple times a month). She's learning all kinds of fun things and loves that time with other girls.

Family movie nights are something we really look forward to. And it feels like we’ve finally entered a chapter where we can all sit and enjoy a movie together.

I look forward to reading parts of a chapter book each night with the kids. Some nights are getting trickier to squeeze it in, but I'm still trying.

Since the girls and I have around a 2-hour window before Max comes home from school, we usually use that time for homework, and do things like tea parties, a weekly "art time" and playing outside. Love the endless summer!

Friday cleaning day is going strong. Grateful for hands that help with cleaning, and while sometimes it happens begrudgingly, it sure is nice to have things clean. At least for a few minutes. 

We started up the jobs and boxes thing we do for money and personal management up again in January. And overall, it's going well and is building consistency. 

We're all making friends with neighbors, folks in the community and in our church congregation. There are good people everywhere.

Max has started babysitting for us and we go out about 2 times a month. He has created a "camp fun" where he's the "coach", Alexis is his "assistant coach" and Tayler and Abigail are the campers. The girls jump with excitement when they hear he's in charge. And we are so, so grateful to be entering the chapter of having an in-home sitter. And we head out on a weekly walk once the girls are down.

This is the first house we live in that doesn't have baby items throughout. I have a lot of thoughts on this that I hope to write more on, but in short I am so grateful for those years, and so grateful for the current chapter.

Saturday afternoons are still our set "family activity" time. We started that tradition years ago, and it has stuck! In Florida, we seem to almost always head to the pool. We love it.

Mike is still doing his monthly 1:1 chats with each kiddo the first Sunday of each month. 

For the first time in my adult (and teenage life), I'm experiencing more consistent clear acne-free skin. Sounds a bit silly to even write about, but it's been a huge confidence killer for me for many, many years. I didn't think I would ever actually see clear skin in my life. I was told about a gal that focuses not only on skin care, but nutrition and better understanding the source of acne. I went to her, learned a ton and started implementing her tools. It's taken nine months, but I'm starting to see more consistently clear skin. And I'm hopeful it will continue! So grateful for folks who see problems, and find true solutions rather than quick-fixes and that we can learn from their wisdom! 

Abigail is swimming on her own, as long as she can hold her breath. Still working on the swimming and breathing part. 

Family dinner is a constant. Alexis helps regularly with the prep and actual cooking. I'm hopeful that one day Abigail will actually eat dinner. Until then, I'll continue taking big breaths.

The kiddos all bring down and put away their own laundry. I'm still washing/drying the loads for everyone, but feeling a nudge that Max is ready to take full ownership of his. Work in progress.

I've found a yoga class at the gym that I love to go to.

Mike and I are trying to learn Spanish. But gosh it's hard to set time aside for it. We try to text one another in Spanish only. Which is fun. But the study in general feels really sporadic. Definitely a work in progress.

We talk about nature all the time. The sunset. The clouds. The trees. The flowers. Bugs. Animals.

While we haven't made it to an allergist, I'm 99% sure that some of us have a tree pollen allergy. It's been a beast these last two months with higher pollen counts, and I need to learn tools in the long-term to navigate and prepare better for it next year. Gratefully, the season seems to be changing. Work in progress.

I read/listen to multiple books at a time. I try to squeeze in bits and pieces whenever I can. I have a long list of ones to get to - but most books center on personal growth, learning tools to teach to the family, messages on resilience and the value of work, and spiritual growth. My nightstand is an explosion of books. So much goodness.

Whew, and I guess that's the everyday life in a nutshell!

Disney World Part 4 - Animal Kingdom

Our last day we headed to Animal Kingdom. Wow! So awesome to see how they integrated nature and wildlife through out the park!

Favorites there were: the safari, expedition Everest, Dinosaur and the raft ride - where max was in the spot to get soaked! Abigail and I watched a Finding Nemo musical and it was simply fantastic to see the detail of those shows! We wrapped up this day early enough to head home before it was too late!

Looking back on this experience, keeping track of everyone, planning for the unknowns, and simply not knowing where or what to expect can feel overwhelming. I wanted to document a few tools I've been using in everyday life that I found helpful in a higher sensory experience. They helped me shift away from "overwhelm" and back into the present.

There were a few times I was in line for a ride thinking "oh - if we had gone to this other spot, we would have been able to do .... differently!" My natural self would get stuck in this train of thought, and I'd beat myself up for making the "wrong choice." Instead of staying in this train of thought, as soon as I became aware of what I was thinking, I re-centered myself back into the NOW by breathing. Inhaling and counting to four, pausing, exhaling counting to six, pausing. This mindful breath was huge for me to practice being present again. As I would breathe, I would look around and notice the details of where we were, express gratitude, and intentionally find a way to connect more deeply with the moment. It enabled me really enjoy who I was with and let go of the worry of "missing out" or "not enough." It enabled me to disconnect from the "perfect scenario" in my mind (that really doesn't exist), and reconnect with what matters most. I found myself smiling and laughing more and embracing the flow so much easier.

It was also helpful to let go of labeling experiences. My perception is often based on my perspective, and the broader I can take that perspective, the more balanced I feel. I practiced this often. And found I was better able to laugh over a situation rather than get angry or worried over it.

And a couple things we just keep laughing over (probably had to of been there to find the humor, but these will be fun to look back on!):

"Hello...do you have any space shuttles taking you to the Magic Kingdom?"

"How many are in your group?" "6." "Oh, sorry. We only have room for 5. We'll be back to your group of 6 the next time around."

Tasks and Life

I read this great article recently in Yoga Journal that asked, "am I rushing because I am under stress or am I under stress because I'm rushing?"

I feel like I've been all over the place lately. Between tying up loose ends here, to getting things ready in Minneapolis, to working, to teaching classes, to being a mom, anyone around me has been able to sense that my stress level has been up there.

After reading this article, I decided to take this question to heart, and consciously make an effort to not let the stress of tasks trickle into becoming the stress of life.

So, I decided to run an errand on my bike. With the kiddos behind in the bike trailer. It was nothing glamorous - just a few miles to go down the road and back. I'm such a fan of people who do this all the time, and just wanted to branch out for myself.

Was it a crazy, blood pumping workout? Nope. Did it take longer than if I'd gone by car? A little.

But my little adventure last week was completely invigorating. Like a new sense of freedom. Like I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. So good that I've done it a few more times since.

Amazing how such a small and simple tweak gives us the chance to regain perspective. Maybe I'll get everything done and ready for the move, maybe I won't, but I'm glad I have this in my back pocket. It'll be a great reminder to consciously relax (a little).

Ahhh...

Tonight I sat at dinner and watched Alexis curiously spread her green beans all over her tray and fingers as I listened to Max negotiate why he needed 2 more Sun Chips on his plate. And, I was perfectly content.

I'd be lying if I said I always had that reaction to the chaos called parenting, but I love when those glimpses pop in throughout the day. It always seems to happen with the simplest of things.

This past month has been a great chance for both Mike and I to enjoy and relish in more of those glimpses. Thanks to the summer weather, a great family vacation, and fun holidays, we've been able to laugh a little more (mostly at the kids), relax a little more, and enjoy some nice evenings out on our porch.

If Max were to summarize vacation in his eyes, it would be the moment he flew down the Alpine Coaster with Mike, shouting "I love Park City!" And, I'd have to agree. The days were filled with living in the present, with no clock for any of us to rush off to the next meeting or appointment. Thanks to my parents and sister, the kids were able to enjoy some of their fun this month with them - not only on vacation but over the holidays as well.

I guess I just have to say how grateful I am to be where I'm at, and how thankful I am for all the help from others along the way. This upcoming Saturday, Mike and I will celebrate our seventh year married and while it seems like so much of our life feels like a whirlwind, I am so happy that I was reminded tonight that the present really is the best part.

Thanks babe for the best seven, and looking forward to a gazillion more. :)

Anemophobia

What? It's a fear of air drafts or wind.
Who? Max.
How long? We're going on week three.
Where? Originally, this was anytime we were outside. It's now improved to only be when he's stationary outside (i.e. walks, riding bikes, running in fields, playing at parks, ok. playing in sandbox, chalk, planting plants, just hanging out, riding in car with window open, not ok).
Why? Good question. Still can't figure out what exactly sparked it.
What does he do? Turns completely hysterical and runs to hold on to absolutely everything he can fearing that it will all blow away (from small things to large - you name it). He can't calm himself down (nor can I), until he's inside.
What have you tried? I called our doc after week one and she gave some great ideas. Running a fan in the house, teaching max about the invisible shield called gravity, practicing, practicing, practicing being outside, even if it's windy...
Suggestions? Will take any offered.