Locked Out

Bringing a puppy into the mix of life has been full of moments. Moments of joy. Moments of crazy. Lots of moments of crazy. Lots more messes to clean up. And lots of moments of love.

The first week was a bit hectic. He really missed his family and couldn't settle down to sleep the first two nights. I tried everything I could think of, but it was all pretty fruitless. Around 4:00am the second morning (as Mike was headed out to the airport), I turned to trusty google for any kind of tip or answer to calm the pup so he could acclimate to the new home. And sure enough, a fantastic dog training video (McCann Training) popped up and offered just the tools I needed to help settle him in his crate and adjust a little easier. Since then, he's been making progress.

Figuring out puppy potty training and weaving it into the schedule of school drop offs, pick ups, volunteering, errands and after-school activities has been an adventure. But, training videos have been a helpful first step for catching ways to teach him proactively and overall, he's figuring things out.

One morning, after I'd gotten everyone off to school, I ran him outside and he was a bundle of energy. He and I had a blast running around the house and he's been playing fetch so well. When we were all done, we turned to go in the same door we came out. I have been teaching him to use the first couple of stairs, and as we took the last step to the door, I began to slip off my shoes and turn the handle.

But the handle didn't turn.

Immediately, I realized that I had managed to lock myself out. With no spare key. No other way to enter the house. And with a little puppy who was then ready for a nap.

After taking a stroll around the house (hoping I'd left something unlocked somewhere!), I came to the conclusion that the only way back in would be with a locksmith.

Gratefully, I had my phone. I don't believe I'd taken my phone with me on any other play time with the pup, but I distinctly remember having the thought "grab your phone" as I walked out the door. Not thinking much at the time, I placed it in my pocket and headed out with the puppy.

Yet, as I sat on the step with the puppy, I was SO grateful to have a phone. Of course I texted Mike and filled him in (who was in Mexico at the time), called a locksmith (ouch, they aren't cheap!) and hung out with the pup.

It's funny sometimes how bumps in the road remind us of how much opportunity we have to choose how we respond. My initial prayer when I realized the door was locked was that I could find an unlocked door and let myself back in. And while that initial desire wasn't answered, as I sat outside waiting for the locksmith, listening to the birds and the trees in the soft breeze, I realized that what I needed had been given to me before I realized I needed it. I was so grateful for the impression to grab my phone before heading out the door, and for His awareness in the little details of my life.

Choose to Trust

To my future self, or our children, or our grandchildren who will at some point in life experience change through moving:

I get it.

When I hear the word "move" and think of the changes surrounding it, my initial reaction is a throat-closing-off-heart-pounding-out-of-my-chest sensation. Even after moving to four different states in an eight year time period. Or wait. Maybe it's because of the four moves to four states in eight years those feelings come to mind.

While the reasons for moves are as different as the brush strokes on a canvas, remember the purpose of your path. Keep your perspective broad and remember we are here on earth to learn and grow. If the opportunity has arrived for you to learn and grow through moving, embrace it. Hold tight to it.

Choose to trust.

You might be moving five minutes from where you currently live. You may be moving to a place you've never been to, where you don't know anyone and where you can't even figure out which way is North.

Choose to trust. North is always constant. You'll find it again.

And remember, there is good everywhere if you choose to find it. If you choose to discover it. If you choose to proactively allow yourself to embrace it.

You might feel worried or guilty or fearful that changing through moving will bring added stress/worry/discomfort to your children. It probably will. Maybe they will feel anxious or depressed. They might lose confidence in themselves. But this is nothing to feel guilty, worried or fearful about. Trust the process. Let them wobble in unsure ground and give them space to dig deeper into their roots. To learn their true identity isn't made by friends or accomplishments but in knowing that God, their Father, loves them - no matter what, and has not forgotten them. Let them soak in the satisfaction of truly understanding resilience. Of working through the struggle while climbing the mountain. Let them climb.

You might have moments where you question why. Or you look back and remember how comfortable life was. You may even run scenarios of trying to rewind or undo the change. Give yourself permission to have a bad day, to talk out those thoughts, and to validate yourself back into truth. Back into your purpose. Back into trust. Sometimes you'll be able to do this on your own. And sometimes you'll need the help of someone who can lift you where you stand. It may be a spouse, a parent, a friend who has moved and understands the journey. It may be a professional - a person trained with the tools to help reframe mental thoughts back into truth. Trust that while the past has brought you to where you are today, it is who you become with the present that matters most.

The moving process will probably give you an opportunity for a clean slate and a fresh start. Take advantage. It may mean letting go of things/items that can serve a purpose with others before you leave. Be prayerful and the Lord will guide you. Remember that no matter the current home, or goods you own, they will never bring you the joy and satisfaction that comes from learning and growing through trust in God.

In your new area, you may feel lonely at times. You may yearn for old connections and friendships. There are so many tools out there to keep you connected - use them to fuel you, but don't rely on them. No technology will replace the growth that will come from face to face connections you will make with those that surround you. Give that loneliness to God. Because while you may feel lonely, you are never alone. Pray for ways to be proactive and ideas to get to know those around you. Then go and do them. Stepping out of your comfort zone may be a big challenge for you, but it will probably become one of the most rewarding. Trust those ideas of connection as they come to you.

You may be starting new job or supporting a spouse or parent who is starting a new job. It may be hard. There may be unforeseen challenges. There may also be unforeseen opportunities. Encourage them. Lift them. You will always be stronger together. And remember, you're on the same team.

You may need to let go of things that no longer serve you, and moving may instigate this change. Let go of the resistance and trying to hold onto old ways, and become curious. It may begin a learning journey for new routines in every day life that you may have never considered had you stayed comfortable. Allow yourself to be molded into who He desires you to be.

You may need to let go. Of work. Of volunteer commitments. Of a whole list of things you once identified yourself with. And that's okay. Remember that all of those things had purpose in the present, and it's okay to give yourself permission to embrace new chapters. As you lean into the new, unseen opportunities and understanding about your true identity as a Child of God will become more clear.

Remember the small and simple tools of connection with God. Pray, study the scriptures and obey His words to the best of your ability. Begin a daily habit of the small and simple if you have not yet. It will be a strength to you, it will open the path for you to know His will for you more directly, and it will remind you that through His strength, we can do all things.

One day, you'll walk around your house, and it will feel like home. It most likely won't happen until you've put your heart into the place - cleaning, organizing, unpacking and hanging things with meaning on your walls - but it will happen. The day will come that you unconsciously turn on a light switch - one that you couldn't find on the wall initially. You'll no longer run into doors or walls during the middle of the night. You'll hear a sound and know exactly where it's coming from. But beyond any of the things you place in the house, the feelings of "home" will come from the memories you choose to create within its walls. Be consistent with those simple moments that will bring connection and peace to you.

You may experience a burning desire to explore. In ways you never felt before. Trust those feelings and to the best of your ability - with your commitments, time and finances, explore. It could be as simple as a Saturday afternoon adventure, or an overnight camping experience. It may mean a mini-vacation. As you explore, you may find a burning desire to learn the cultures and traditions of where you live. Take the time to learn them. The more you learn about where you are, the more you'll see the beauty in those who surround you. It may increase your desire to learn more about who you are. Study that. Embrace it.

One day you'll be driving in what was a new area, and will realize that you are able to navigate your way without the help of any digital assistance. Soak in this achievement. Celebrate it. Congratulate yourself on every destination you are able to reach with confidence.

Sometimes, you may look up to the sky and see clouds. The weather patterns and skyline may feel unfamiliar to you. Take time to learn these new patterns. And remember that no matter the clouds, the sun is always shining. It is always constant.

Grow the good. In your home. In your heart. In those you come in contact with each and every day.

Look up as you are in every day life. Look out to those who you can be mindful of and serve in small and simple ways.

Be patient with yourself. Do the things that fill you up. Maybe that's connecting with nature, going for walks and talking, exercising, deepening your meditation, prayer and scripture studying, developing a new hobby, or sitting down on the floor and playing with young children.

And above all, cultivate gratitude. Begin each and every day with a prayer of gratitude for the journey as it is unfolding. And end each day focusing on the specific ways God has been mindful of you.

Because he is.

His love for you is abundant.

Simply choose to trust.

Yoga Flowing

Once upon a time, there was a new mom. And with a new chapter in her hands, and a day no longer scheduled or time blocked with a business agenda, she found herself relearning the every day with their little baby boy, whom she and her husband loved so dearly.

New routines meant new experiences. And once she recovered from her delivery, she noticed a new class at the gym. She'd never attended a class. She'd never really needed to. But this class was offered at a great time for her and her baby and it seemed intriguing. It was a "mom and me" class - she could bring her baby with her, keep him in his car seat and do a class with other moms.

Since he was so little, and since she had no clue of how he would be in that type of setting, she gave it a whirl.

And then the toughest moment of the journey came.

She had to walk through the door for the very first time. Step into a space she knew nothing about, meet people she'd never known, and allow herself to learn new things.

She paused. A spark of fear of the unknown surged through her body.

And then took a deep breath of courage. Because courage is not the absence of fear, but the action through fear.

She relaxed her shoulders, hooked the car seat on her forearm, pulled the diaper bag over the older shoulder and walked in.

This journey took her so many amazing places. From two mentors who empowered her not only to attend classes, but to take courses to begin teaching classes, and then who taught her how to practice and refine her skill. They motivated her to learn how to teach other formats and truly step into any room with an open heart and mind ready to connect with whomever joined her.

She found herself teaching at multiple gyms. Classes grew and grew. New faces became regular faces. Connections were made. Friendships blossomed.

And while she loved the flexibility and variety of all the classes - she loved the power she felt and taught in strength classes, the movement and dancelike motions of a step class, the precision of a strong pilates mat class, the sound and rhythm of a powerful spin class - she found that her heart, soul and mind truly sang with yoga.

Over the years, as her and her husband grew their family and moved from state to state, she continued to cultivate her love for yoga. She studied topics, went to trainings, mentored under incredible teachers and read books. She wrote classes in her spare time, found unique music, and would take notes of things she loved from any class she took.

Over time, she found herself not only teaching yoga, but striving to live the principles of yoga. She and her husband found themselves applying the principles of the yamas and niyamas in intentional ways: they spent a year only spending money on absolute essentials, they cultivated contentment through date nights after the young children were in bed, they chose one word to focus on each month, and then for an entire year, they found themselves letting go of comparisons, competitions and judgements, they practiced listening to their thoughts and discerning truth. They looked for moments to be mindful of, and strove to choose experiences over things. Above all, these practices strengthened their connection to God and empowered them see and embrace the beauty of their religion on a much deeper level.

Again they moved to a new state, and teaching group fitness became a source of connection in an otherwise unfamiliar place. She loved the new friendships, and looked forward to teaching yoga each week. And her love for the practice grew and grew. She moved from teaching in a small room, to teaching in the biggest room the facility could offer to create space for all those who chose to be there with her. It was beautiful.

Knowing she wanted to continue cultivating her skill, she chose to sign up for a series of trainings that would help her "complete" her 200 hours of yoga training. It would require travel and time away from home, but she felt ready, and her husband was so supportive.

But then a big choice came into her life. A new direction.

As much as she wanted to learn and grow as a teacher, it paled in comparison to the desire she had for adding another baby into their young family. And together, she and her husband moved forward with faith.

Knowing what mattered most outweighed what mattered much, she found herself letting go of one thing to further embrace another. And as her belly grew, and she later held this beautiful angel, she felt peace in her heart.

She took this brand new bundle in her arms as they moved to the next state. And this little bundle was a light for her as she navigated new terrain and a new chapter as a family. This little soul spoke light into her heart and helped her focus more deeply on the beautiful gift of motherhood.

She found herself wanting to teach and embrace these spirits she and her husband had been entrusted with. She knew her best use of time during this season was with them.

But her love for yoga and empowering other women remained strong. She found herself creating a whole new way of teaching. The words "strong and mindful" spoke to her as a way to serve and be mindful of those she connected with. To remember that we all have a story and we are all in this together. From her home in the early morning hours during the summer months she started things she had never thought of before. She made dear friendships and together they wrote a yoga series centering on self-love and connection. The next year, she wrote an entirely new curriculum, and did it again the third year.

Each curriculum she wrote and taught she continually strived to live. And the journey was beautiful.

Shortly after she started that third summer, it was time again for their family to embrace another move across the country. And while she knew it would be so hard to leave something she had created and loved, she knew what mattered most mattered more than what mattered much. And what mattered most was the experiences and learning and growth that would come to their family with this new chapter.

But before she left, she knew it was time to create something beautiful. A retreat for women. In the mountains. To center. To empower. To connect. But she couldn't do it alone. And God knew who to place in her path to guide her and together they created something beautiful.

As much as she loved those experiences and knew they were good, she also knew it was not sustainable. It was pulling her in too many directions and was stretching her too thin. She couldn't give her very best to those little souls who mattered most.

And as they moved across the country, she let it go. She let go of her business. Social media. She let go of the retreats. She let go of the classes.

She was lonely yet free.

Sad yet at peace.

Less than yet enough.

Heartbroken yet loved.

The pendulum of emotions confused her. She didn't know which ones were true, so she created space to simply feel them. To honor them.

And over time, she discovered something beautiful.

The times and seasons led her to her exact spot. All things were for her good, and for the good of those she was around. They were part of a plan and path that she needed to walk. They helped mold and shape her into who she was at this very moment. But they did not define her. She could continue to write her story. To change. To learn and grow in new ways. And as she continued with faith, she would be led to do good continually and to strive to serve with all of her heart, might mind and strength.

As she soaked in this peace, she honored the past, present and future of her love for yoga one evening with three of her darling angels. One whose energy is like the sunshine. Bright and warm. One whose energy is like a calm quaking aspen. Strong and steady. And one whose energy is like the ocean. Determined to continually flow beyond what the eye can see.

The things that mattered most mattered more than what mattered much.

It was not a big audience. Nor was it the perfect yoga studio setting. But they connected together. And in the moments, between the breathing and flowing movements, she strove to teach them to love and honor their bodies and the gifts that they are. To love and honor their minds and all the good they can do in the world. To honor their hearts for all the love and light they can give. And to honor their spirit - to hear the soft, calming voice above any noise.  Because the light within her, she wants to share with the light within them.

And she had peace in her heart as she discovered the true gift of yoga wasn't in the destination. It is in the journey. And so she moves forward with hope. Not knowing the road ahead, but trusting in the One who guides her.

Principles of Truth: Forgiveness

Sometimes you're standing in the kitchen and you hear a noise that you really don't want to hear. Sunday night, at the end of a fantastic Mother's Day, I heard one of those sounds.

A reeaallly large crash. Followed by an "uh oh."

I've learned, through loads of error, that it doesn't help to react in the situation. And I've also learned, that in order to respond, I must allow myself a moment to breathe before discovering the noise. As there were no hysterical screams or cries for immediate help, I knew this crash was fully object- related and no human being was damaged in the process. So I took full advantage of a few breaths before rounding the corner.

As I made the turn, I found my most favorite painting in a jumble on the floor. The frame was smashed and in pieces on the floor, and a child-who-will-not-be-named was wide-eyed with sorrow. It had been a complete accident. This favorite image rested on top of a heavily used bookcase, and unknowingly, the bookcase had shifted away from the wall just enough that a vibration from the doors closing a bit too hard knocked the picture to the ground.

This kiddo was crushed. She knew how much I loved that picture (I reference it often), and felt like this action might be unforgivable.

But of course it was.

Later that night, well after we'd put everyone down for bed, this kiddo came downstairs to discover I was trying to figure out how to fix what had been broken. At the time I hadn't found a solution, and needed to think on it.

And then this kiddo said, "are you sure you forgive me?"

And I said, "of course I do. Things are things. What matters most is you."

Then this kiddo burst into more tears, needed more hugs, and I realized a small teaching moment. This kiddo was buried in feelings that I can relate to in so many ways - negative self-talk. Shame. Perfectionism. The feeling that she wasn't enough. The worry that forgiveness eventually runs out.

The truth is, I'd forgiven this kiddo before I even left the kitchen.

But she needed to be heard. Her worries needed to be spoken. Her concerns needed to be validated back into truth. The process created space in her mind for truth. To let go of beating herself up for doing something "wrong" and to realize the journey of life isn't about "not making mistakes."  Because we all will. The real journey is in how we respond. What we choose to do. Where we choose to look. How we choose to move forward.

Our simple little chat about forgiving ourselves was the first principle of truth. And here's where the real beauty of this moment came in. The picture that had been broken was this one:

The One who is always there.
Hand outstretched and ready to lift us where we stand.
Always willing to forgive.
All we need to do is look up and ask.

Beautiful.

The frame is glued and is back in it's proper spot as a central image in our home. Full of so much more meaning than it ever had before.

Training

Earlier this month, an annual yoga training (for yoga instructors) came into town, and I jumped on the chance to go.

It was amazing. I love spending all day learning about something only to realize how much more I actually don't know. It's fantastic to be in a room with people from all walks of life. Combinations of individuals who'd you'd never meet otherwise (Minneapolis is a big "hub" place - so people came to this training from all over - New York, Florida, even England!), but within a few minutes can talk endlessly about not only a shared love for yoga, but a love to share it with others. We had a great presenter who engaged not only the information in the text, but shared unique and fantastic added info that I scribbled everywhere I could find a white space.

Then there's enjoying the energy of downtown Minneapolis. Heading out on a lunch break to an old-bank-turned-sandwich-shop, complete with an outdoor patio, literally sandwiched between two skyscrapers was wonderful. Not to mention an hour of uninterrupted adult conversation.

Don't get me wrong. I love my usual lunchtime conversations. "Hey, mom, did you see that spider on the ceiling?" "Hey, mom, watch how I can drink out of my cup like Kermit (then tries to lap it up our dog)." "Hey, Alexis, are you going to eat all of your chips?" "Mom, what kind of bird is that out on our deck? I think it's a ___" (and actually, thanks to his time spent birdwatching from our back window, he's actually right most of the time)!

No, really. I do. I think it's hilarious to see what comes out of those minds. And I love that Alexis copies her brother to a tee. Down to demonstrating her new ways to drink out of a cup, which then turn into spilled drinks all over the floor. Oh well. That's what towels are for, right?

But, as much as I love and cherish this chapter, I know there is more to me than mom. I know that while my hubby, kiddos and my faith are my top threes, teaching fitness is right up there. I've never viewed the opportunity I have to teach fitness, whether it is yoga, cycling, pilates, bootcamp, Balletone, as a job. It's an outlet, a fun hobby and a great way to build relationships with people.

I'm so grateful for the chance of continuing education, and for the awesome hubby who makes it possible for me to do what I do. It feels like a recharge of the battery, filling the mind with all kinds of new ideas and concepts.

Coming home after a full day of work, and seeing the kids out on the deck, eating hot dogs with dad for dinner, their faces plastered with the biggest smiles, was just like icing on the cake. Too bad I didn't grab the camera.

Learning

I had the opportunity recently to attend yet another yoga training.

Why are you going to a training? Don't you already teach yoga?

It could be to see the newest trends in yoga (ironic, that such an old practice from India actually has new trends. Thank you, America for keeping us on our toes). Or it could be to socialize with a bunch of adults whose journeys in life are so different and unique that we'd never cross paths otherwise. But, without much more than an introduction of names, can engage in endless conversation thanks to the one commonality we all share - a love not only for yoga, but a love to share it with others.

Maybe I go to learn. Every time I go, I realize how much I actually don't know. I love taking those snippets that I've picked up and passing them onto my classes. I love cramming my mind full of new material and information to the point of feeling mentally drained, and then reading it over (and over).

Or maybe it's that each training acts as continuing education that brings me a step closer to the 200 hour yoga certification (one can teach yoga with a certain amount of training, but to become a licensed yoga teacher 200 hours of course training are required). A journey that I'm definitely headed toward, but as with all chapters in life, getting there will be with one step at a time.

Possibly it's the combination of it all that I love.

Coming home and seeing the kids all smiles, eating hot dogs and playing in the park after a day with dad isn't so bad either.

Bird Watching

Being sneaky with the camera is one of my biggest challenges. I love the real-life images, but struggle to capture them on camera as my kids seem to jump for the attention of an on camera-cheesy-smile shot. On my list of life, I've always wanted to practice and learn photography so I could capture what I see in my mind on the camera. And while the lighting is a bit off, I was glad to snag this photo, as Max began setting up for bird watching. He loves to look out our back window, spot birds, learn the names, and then watch for when they will come back.
With the entrance of SPRING, there have been plenty of new bird faces out there to check out. It's been fun seeing the Canada Geese come back at just the right time, and earlier this week, we heard our first frogs who've dug themselves out of hibernation.


Showing Alexis how to use the binoculars. I'm glad he's so patient with her!


Checking for birds in the bird book grandma gave him.

Grandma

My mom made a daring choice to head north recently to spend some time with her grand kids. Prior to her arrival, I mentioned she would definitely find the temperatures chilling and should plan to dress a bit warmer. I don't think she believed me. Her first request was to go shopping for some long sleeved sweaters! Mike and I chuckled every time she commented on the cold (temps were in the teens, and twenties while she was in town), because those temps felt a bit refreshing compared to the "real cold" we had in earlier months! Funny how weather can be so relative to what you are familiar with. The visit was a fun excuse to do some out-of-the-usual-routine activities.

While she was here, Max's preschool had an art show and winter song fest. They sang a few winter themed tunes, and then headed over to their exhibit to show off some of their recent art projects. The kids had been asked to make their own type of snowman for the show. It was fun to see the different types of snowman the kids made - from snow-princesses, to snow-dogs, to snow-astronaut. Max chose a snow-robot. Also on display was a clay animal. Each child chose an animal they wanted to create out of clay. Dogs, horses, and giraffes seemed to be the most popular. What did Max pick? A moose. Definitely original. Another fun art project they did was the big yellow fish. The teacher brought an actual fish (from a kind ice-fisherman), the kids painted it, and then pressed paper to the fish to capture the texture and shape of the fish. I hadn't heard of that before. Seemed pretty creative. And a bit stinky.We took her to the Children's Museum. The kids had fun showing her their favorite spots at the museum, and it was fun to check out the new interactive Lego exhibit.

You can't have a winter visit to Minnesota and not go to the Mall of America! This time we checked out the aquarium. Max took his camera and loved taking pics of everything (posting his pics is on the to-do list). Alexis was a bit scared with the sharks (I can only imagine how huge they seemed from her perspective!), but finally warmed up a bit (we have a cute video, but I have yet to figure out how to upload it correctly. Another one on the to-do list).



From the aquarium, we headed over for our second Lego experience - the new Lego Land store that was recently remodeled. It is a pretty fun place to see - there are some places for the kids to build, and the Lego creations they have are so big! It is hard to imagine someone having the patience to actually assemble it. Max has a definite interest in building and using his imagination with his creations - and Legos seem to be a natural fit. Grandma was so sweet to let them pick something out - a gift they have used countless times since going!
In addition to the sightseeing, my mom helped me with some projects at home. I accomplished my first ever sewing project thanks to her guidance, and while I won't be tackling complicated patterns at this point, knowing and having the capability to do some mends and small projects here and there will be fantastic.

She joined me at the gym and while I was teaching, she headed to the pool to try out some water fitness and may have found a new hobby! She spent some one on one time with each of the kids, went to the library and spoiled them with plenty of ice cream.

And, she was a great babysitter. Mike and I were able to get out as a couple and enjoy some grown up time. Cross country skiing, a visit to the temple, dinner with friends, catching up on random errands, we even caught a movie. Knowing that those opportunities don't come by with the blink of an eye make them so much more appreciated.

Thanks for the fun trip mom!

Experiment

What do you do when it's super cold? Well, we had some fun experimenting. This one we did one morning when the temp was -18 (brrrr!!). Another fun one in well below 0 temps is to blow bubbles (not captured on film). The bubbles freeze and either sit on the snow looking like glass, or if the temp is just right, they fog up slightly and turn into what Max called a "tissue paper" bubble (slightly opaque, and then they begin to deflate).

Feels good to be sore

I caved. I thought I could hold off until I picked up another teaching spot, but after one-month-without-a-gym-pass, I just couldn't do it. This was my first stint without a gym pass since - jeez, before I was 18. I'd been doing some early morning short runs (with Kermit alongside), and they had been okay, but they just weren't cutting it. I'll be honest. I just don't love to run. I respect those who can pound the pavement for miles on end, but I'll be the first to admit that I am not one of them. Maybe it's all the years of dancing and the work I did on my feet and knees, and with every pound, I feel like I just want to save what is left of those joints for my later years.

Maybe it's just that I love the variety of a good class - doing some of this, some of that, being forced to concentrate and think about what and how you're doing it. Maybe it's moving to the music (again, the dance background) that I love. Or that bit of competition that I feel, standing in a room full of people, knowing that I can push a little harder, and keep moving because they are (Don't get me wrong, Kermit enjoyed the chase to catch a fellow jogging boxer and owner every morning)! Or that I just like being surrounded by people - listening and talking and building relationships.

Or, maybe it was this conversation:

Max: "Hey mom, what are we going to do tomorrow?" (the question I get every night)

Mom: "I have a few ideas - how about checking out a new park or something?"

Max: "Think you could get me a pass to the gym again? I really liked going to the Sandy gym."

Mom: long pause, quietly laughing that my four year old just asked for a gym pass. Realizing that maybe this is a good thing for all of us. "You're right, we should get a gym pass again."

Max: "Yeah, 'cause I really want to get my exercises done with the kids while you're at your class. I think I want to wear my exercise shoes." (in other words, "I really like to run around with the kids, mom - I'm a pretty social guy.")


So, he talked me into it. It reminded me how much I love group fitness classes, and how much I look forward to teaching them again.

Ah, we all have those constant battles and struggles of what and what not to do. Am I selfish to make this part of our routine? Should I allow my kids to be exposed to all kinds of germs and other kids who may or may not be as nice? The questions could go on and on.

I can't answer them for everyone, but I can say that Max has loved that time and has helped him build confidence in making new friends in any type of environment. And, I'll never forget this post. Alexis has built confidence in the time that she's been there. And, I can say that their sicknesses that they have had, haven't really stemmed from the gym (knock on wood). Now, church nursery, well that's just a whole other thing.

Without a doubt, I can say that I am a better mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter - okay - person when I go to classes. I can't begin to describe how fulfilling my fourish years of teaching has been - and how humbling it was to talk to the members as I was leaving, and hear them tell me how much I've helped them in their fitness goals, and in their live experiences. Things that I never heard or saw at the time.

My first teaching gig starts up in a few more weeks (wahoo!), at least until then I can enjoy the limbo time a little more - at the gym!

New ride. No ride.

It's 2:00pm, Saturday afternoon. I should be trying to catch my breath after riding my guts out for 50 minutes at the cyclocross race in Heber. Instead I just put my little girl down for a nap and Maxman is in his room playing with his dinosaurs. Yep, no race today. One thing that I've learned in my 7 years of being married is that marriage is a game of give and take. Sara has been on the "give" side so many times throughout the years of me training for Lotoja or some other bike race, that when she asked me to stay home with the kiddos today so she could take a yoga certification class, I knew what was the right thing to do. I actually love playing with the little guys! They are a lot of fun, and with Max riding his own pedal bike now, we can go out and ride our bikes, together! Fun stuff!

It's probably not a bad thing that I didn't race today. I've been in Denver all week attending work meetings and didn't ride the bike once. I would have gotten smoked for sure! Next week will be better. I'm taking pretty much the whole week off and should have plenty of saddle time.

I've also been meaning to post some pics of my new ride! Yes, I am the proud owner of a brand-spankin' new Sabrosa crosser! I'm so stoked! I've actually had the frame for quite a while now, it has just taken longer than I thought to get it all built up the way I like it! If you don't know about Jon from Sabrosa, you will soon! He is definitely an up-and-comer on the hand-built bike scene and his craftsmanship is second-to-none! Like many other custom bike builders, he's starting to amass quite the wait for one of his frames. If you want one, you better get on the list quick! You won't be disappointed! He's in the middle of updating his website, but in the meantime, check out his blog for more info and pics of his handy work!

Here are some pics:

2009 CX update

I'll admit that I have been absolutely terrible about posting updates on my blog lately. Too busy with work, family, and church. I guess those are all important, so I won't be too hard on myself, but the blog really needs some more cycling posts. My riding buddies are probably wondering if I ever get out and ride anymore. Well...anyone who has ridden with me lately knows that that is pretty much the case; no riding!

Despite the no riding or training thing, I've managed to maintain at least a little fitness throughout the year and what would a year be without topping it off with a little CX?! Like last year, I decided to race single speed again. Not that I really have a choice, since the only bike I own is a single speed, but that is besides the point. Anyone who races in UTCX, knows that the single speed class is VERY competitive and chockfull of super-fast riders. My goal going in was to start the season in the top 10 and somehow work my way into the top 5 by the end of the season.

RACE 1--Weber Fairgrounds

I never got the chance to race up at Weber last year, so this race was my virgin experience of the Fairgrounds. Pretty fun course. Very flat and bumpy and fairly fast! Usually I prefer courses like this, being a little on the heavy side. I started off pretty fast and was actually in the top 5 for the first lap. On lap two I felt the juice start to fade and I pretty much entered the pain cave for the rest of the race. I kept pretty consistent lap times, however, and having Rick Sunderlage behind pushing me helped me to finish as strong as I could. (Rick must have had a mechanical, because he is much faster than I!) Ended up around 10th or 11th place. I was happy with the finish.

RACE 2--Weber: NO SHOW (my back hurt, or at least that was my excuse. Really I just couldn't muster the energy to drive all the way up to North Ogden again!)

RACE 3--Heber: NO SHOW (schedule conflict)

RACE 4--Draper: I have sort of a love/hate relationship with the Draper CX course. I love it because of the technical nature of the course. You really have to been on your game or you could very easily end ass over tea kettle in many a section. I also enjoy the nice downhill portion which can never come too soon in any one lap. But anything that goes down must come back up, and Draper has a lot of "up" . The long uphill-road section just about killed me every time it came around, and the steep dirt run-up/barrier section hurt like a mother every time. I started off a little more conservatively on this race, having just recovered from a nasty cold. I didn't really know how my body would respond early in the race. One lap in my body felt pretty good and I started to reel-in some riders. Sunderlage and Keyes were just ahead of me and proved to be nice carrots for me throughout the race. (I later found out that Keyes blew out his tire and didn't finish. Sorry man! Thanks for helping me bump up a spot!) I actually felt pretty strong the whole race and finished top 10 for sure. (still don't know the official results.)

Next week is the first Wheeler event! Hopefully I will have a nice surprise for all to see at that race. My fingers are CX'd!

2008: A Year of Change!

Since finishing my MBA, I have had a lot of time to think about what I will do with my "extra" time this year. Obviously, the bulk of that time will be spent with my little guy Max and my wife Sara. But I'd like to make this year a year of change. A year where I get off the couch and do some of the things I have wanted to do but have never done. So many of us get caught up with work, school, or whatever and say to ourselves "Oh, I'll have time to do that later". Newsflash! We're not getting any younger! Mark Twain once said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” So, with Mark Twain's wise words in mind, here are few things I hope to accomplish this year:

1. Change jobs. Actually, I already did this. Tomorrow I start my first day as the Industrial Packaging Business Unit Sales Manager for xpedx, Salt Lake City. Even though I truly enjoyed my five years as a Sales Professional, I am excited to start this new job and I look forward to the many challenges that I will face.

2. Do more racing. I've always wanted to race but I have always let lame excuses get in the way. "Oh, I'm just not in good enough shape", or "I'll have time to race later". Well, enough excuses. Cat 4 here I come. Hopefully Kelsey and Scott will follow suit.

3. Do more reading. Anyone who knows me well knows that reading isn't my thing. I'm much more of a picture guy. This year I want to expand my knowledge base, no matter what the subject!

4. Go on a week long fishing trip with my dad. We haven't done this in quite a while and we need to re-start the tradition!

5. Get my dad involved in cycling. He got a road bike for Christmas. I need to make it my personal responsibility to get him hooked on riding his new pony!

6. Spend more time with family and friends. I'm lucky to have so many family members and good friends so close by. At the end of the day, no matter how hard life gets, you always have family and friends. I need to take advantage of that!

Light at the end of the tunnel

When I embarked on the journey of getting my MBA, I never thought the end would come. Now that I'm so close to finishing, I'm going crazy! I like the classes I have right now, I mean I've always kind of liked mergers and acquisitions, but let's just say I WANT IT TO END!!!!. Scott, Kels, and Kerry are heading down to San Jorge next week for some unbelievable riding with Jon from Sabrosa. I'm am so jealous. I really wish I could just sneak out for a day or two but there is no way to fit it into my schedule. Next month I am going to celebrate my graduation by heading out to DC to visit DNR and Lorider. I'm bummed there will be no cross races out there during that time. I kind of wanted to test my skillz with the Eastsidaz. Oh well.

Scott and I ventured out to ride some nice singletrack today with Pat from Timp CX and Joe Gardner. The hills of Draper have never been so nice this late in the year. We missed you KP! I'm sure you missed us as well.

Next week for CX I think I'm going to try the singlespeed class. I'll probably get smoked but it'll be nice to get a change of scenery.