The In-Between

Whew. I write sitting on a hotel bed. We're a solid week into our hotel-transition time. Gratefully, with just one more week, I'll be writing from our new home.

Pausing in these somewhat awkward days, where the kids and I seem to have flown from a rhythm of life into an abrupt halt, I find the feelings of unfamiliar somewhat familiar. This isn't our first time sitting in the space of the in-between, yet instead of the restlessness I typically find myself in, I find myself practicing more awareness. It's interesting to have pauses like these in life. Where there is almost a tangible hold between what was and what is going to be. It has opened my heart to look back with so much gratitude, to look forward with an abundance of faith, and to sit in the now, holding space for what is right in front of us.

There is so much power in the now, if I choose to access it. Yet, like in all things, the in-between is full of choice. To choose to sit in discomfort and bury it, anxious, resistant and frustrated in the slow motion of the days, or to see discomfort for the fluid opportunity it presents. Because discomfort is what creates growth. And I am all in for growth. Yet, I am human. And find myself dancing between both places throughout each day, soaking in the moments that warm my heart and take away the sting of loneliness that creeps in these times of unknowns. Because the more I look around, the more I see the people surrounding me. Full of love, light, and above all, hope. And I can hold hope with them. I may not have all the answers. But I can hold space for hope. That while we don't know what life will look like in our next chapter, and while we longingly look for the comfort of our last chapter, we find ourselves bookmarked. Relishing in the memories and experiences that formed exactly how they needed to, yet unable to move into the next part of the story. The smell of the pages from the well-worn book remind us of the beauty that life has to offer us if we are willing to be patient. To be open to receive what it is we are meant to discover.

As I find pockets of stillness where I'm feeling my feet where they are standing, I soften. The crinkled muscles between my eyebrows relax and the tension in my shoulders releases. I begin to see the joy that truly surrounds us.

The laughter of Abigail telling us how amazing she thinks the hotel is.
The kids excitement for the hotel breakfast menu. Trying new foods because they can.
Showing up at a park, and playing together for hours. Max inventing a Percy Jackson tag that the girls giggle to play with him. Creating obstacle courses with them.
Abigail catching a frog, picking up worms and looking for insects at every moment. Some stop to smell the roses. She stops to catch the bugs.
Alexis swimming in the cold pool the most because she loves a good competition.
Alexis' smile as she discovers new ways to cross the monkey bars. Backwards, skipping two, and skipping two backwards.
Tayler's laugh. In the car. At the park.
Tayler making a new friend at every park we go to. Smiling and welcoming anyone to join her.
Max playing pick-up ball with no fear about being the youngest.
Tayler's excitement to do her summer workbook each morning.
Card games on the park table under the shade of the giant trees.

As I get out of my own head long enough to observe moments like these, I find myself listening so much more. Seeing where they are processing this journey in their own individual ways, and seeing how they choose to respond. They teach so much. Courage, resilience, grit, joy all surround abundantly. Turns out the in-between is full of the unexpected. Turns out the in-between is exactly where I'm growing. Turns out the in-between really is a lesson in being present with life enough to realize that's where life is.

Home

Max: "Mom, I noticed you haven't posted on the blog for awhile."
Me: "I know, right?! We've kinda been juggling a lot huh?"
Max: "Well, as your biggest fan, and probably the main reader, I think it'd be awesome if you posted again."

Sometimes a nudge is just what's needed to get back on the wagon and start posting again. Where to begin? So much has changed and yet everything has stayed the same, so I'll simply begin again:

In June we'll be moving to Atlanta, GA! While we've loved embracing the endless beaches and summers, they pale in comparison to the amazing people and experiences here. "Home" from a geography perspective has changed for us - Georgia will be our 6th state in 9 years (!). Each place has been a stepping stone on a path we never expected and has cultivated growth in ways we never knew possible. Our hearts are so full as we reflect on the abundance of memories. We are humbled and grateful for the journey. "Home" is so much more than a physical address and we are grateful to hold a piece of "home" in our hearts for South Florida (and the other amazing "homes" we've lived). We look forward to cultivating our new "home" in Georgia!

This transition has had its own rhythm of chaos, but we have seen again and again how mindful the Lord is of us.

16

I have much to catch up on with our adventures this summer, but I must take a moment to write a few thoughts while they are fresh on my mind.

Today, Mike and I celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary and have known one another for over 18 years.

This past weekend we were able to spend a big portion of our time with the youth ages 14-18 from our church. Admittedly, Mike was just coming back from being out of town, and prior to that the kids and I had just gotten back in town from our summer trip to Utah (more on that later), and there was part of us hoping for a quiet weekend. But the bigger part of us knew that spending time doing things that fulfill others ultimately fulfills and strengthens us and so we embraced it. Mike was there for the entire conference and was able to hang out and connect with a group of awesome youth. Funny enough, on his first night there, he looked across the room and recognized one of the youth from our Nebraska congregation! It turns out he and his brother were attending conference while in town visiting some family friends. What a small world!

I had been asked to help out with the planning, prep and serving of the food. My main meal was on Saturday afternoon and it was a "prep" meal for the etiquette dinner they were planning to have that night. It was a 5 course lunch - where the youth practiced and learned the ropes for the upcoming dinner. And while part of me had been hoping for an "easy" lunch like deli sandwiches, chips and a cookie, I learned a ton in the planning process of a five course meal, and was super grateful for all those who stepped in to help prep the food! We had salad, rolls, tomato soup (made from scratch by a dear friend who was happy to take on this task!), grilled cheese sandwiches, green beans and brownies. All of the food was meant to be practiced with proper cutting and handling of a fork, spoon and knife, and was meant to be simple. The trickiest part of the meal was that everything needed to be prepared ahead of time and kept warm. But, thanks to lots of great ideas from folks, a whole bunch of crockpots and prepping ahead of time, it went off without a hitch!

As we finished loading the car and I was leaving to pick up the kiddos (who'd been playing at a friends home while we were at the conference), Mike was headed back over to continue serving the capacity he'd been asked. And while I was tired and ready to head home, I couldn't help but pause with gratitude as I looked around.

I find if I am still and listen, nature - specifically trees - seem to speak with wisdom. The shapes, the sounds, the unique characteristics of each one connect to life in so many ways. I love how trees differ in the regions of the county we've been able to live. Since moving to South Florida, I find myself captivated by the big trees and wonder at what intense tropical storms and hurricanes they have survived. Oh the stories they must hold.

Which brings be back to the parking lot. As Mike was walking away, he was parallel to these beautiful Oaks. Moss and small plants growing throughout them, full of shade, and green with life. The parking lot was built around them in order for them to maintain their natural state and beauty. They stood so tall and clustered together in a way that clearly strengthened the whole. Standing under them, you could feel a noticeable temperature drop from the strong Florida summer sun, and the sound of the leaves as the coastal winds softly blew was calming for the whole soul.

In that moment I had a profound connection. So simple, yet it brought tears of gratitude and clarity to my eyes.

I soaked in the beauty of these oaks - the life they have seen pass around them, the strength of their roots to stand tall against the forces of winds, how they continually reached upward toward the light that strengthens them, how they give what they can to benefit the world around them, how their small and simple actions have compounded over time to represent lasting growth, how they are always growing but never seemed rushed and stand still with the present moment - and I saw Mike and our equal partnership in the same light.

Don't get me wrong. I am fully aware that Mike and I are not trees.

May our children know that the principles and wisdom in that moment reminded me of what we strive for in our marriage and commitment to one another - to lean into one another, to lean into and trust God and His plan beyond our own. This path has brought us much more strength and joy than ever trying to stand alone. We have felt the light of Christ strengthen our marriage in ways that simply could not have happened on our own. We are full of weaknesses, but know fully that together, with Christ, we are stronger. As we've embarked on challenges and unexpected changes that life brings - we've chosen to dig into our roots, to grow where were stand, and it's something we hope and strive to continue. To prioritize and focus on lasting growth and let go of what no longer serves us. To create space for learning and expanding our roots or branches. To mend what's broken. To connect and work together. May our children know that it's the small and simple actions where we grow and learn from the most.

Standing in the parking lot, and in the days since, I've felt an abundance of gratitude for walking this journey and adventure with Mike. It was no coincidence that a secretary to a men's college basketball coach and a basketball player would be brought together. Our journey together has been an adventure where we've strengthened our roots together as we've moved through four states, one foreign country and the times and seasons of four children in our home and countless other experiences. May our children remember that as we strive to focus on what matters most more than what matters much. And seeing the beauty of these trees gave me confidence that for Mike and I, our now small trees will continue to grow and expand in ways we've yet to imagine.

To an eternal abundance of learning and growth together - Happy Anniversary, hon.

Growing

Mike gets all the credit for this great pic! We are so grateful to be parents to this crew! They inspire us and we strive to diligent parents. It feels like we learn something new each day about how to approach (or not approach something), but we keep trying.

I've been pondering a phrase to "raise a sin-resistant generation" for some time. I remember hearing it from President Nelson here and from Sister Jones here. Most recently, I love what Elder Taylor shared recently about this specific phrase: "To mothers, especially young mothers, who often feel overwhelmed and underwater while striving to raise "a sin-resistant generation," never underestimate your central role in God's plan. In stressful moments - perhaps when you are chasing little ones and a charred smell from the kitchen informs you that your lovingly prepared dinner is now a burnt offering - know that God sanctifies your most difficult days. "Fear thou not; for I am with thee," He peacefully reassures. We honor you as you fulfill the hope of Sister Joy D. Jones, who stated, "Our children deserve to understand their divine identity." More of his talk is here.

I know what those chasing/burnt smell moments feel like. More often than not, our dinners end up on the "slightly overcooked" side. And just last week I walked into the house after running an errand, only to discover a faucet had been left running. It was a slow run, and it was in the sink, but I had a moment.

We fully believe that striving to "raise sin-resistant children" is our purpose. It begins with ourselves, and understanding our identity. Our worth. Our eternal value beyond what others choose to label it.

I recently looked up the definition of raise:
1. To lift or move to a higher position or level.
2. Increase the amount, level or strength of.

"Raising sin-resistant children" is about creating space for growth, recognizing and feeling connection to our eternal worth and the voice of the Spirit. In everyday moments of learning that mistakes are an essential part of the everyday. I loved the words written about mistakes, repentance and forgiveness from Elder Robbins here.

Growing.

Always happening. Constant, yet can feel so slow.

Changing.

Full of missteps and opportunities to learn.

I'll write more on this later, but we've loved applying the advice to evaluate the kiddos regularly on five areas - physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and social. I feel like anytime we have moved and experienced a high amount of change, Mike and I talk about these even more frequently. But, it's interesting how much they blend together.

For example, the whole reason we were out "shopping together" (a rare thing for us!), is that after basketball the other day, I looked down and noticed a hole in the front of Max's shoes. I never knew shoes could wear out like they do! One of the kiddos needed some new shorts too (legs are getting looonnngg!), so we checked out a super big outlet mall nearby. It’s huge. We couldn’t believe the amount of people shopping with empty suitcases. It was an awesome to chat about how truly global the world is. And while the size of the place felt a bit overwhelming, we navigated where we needed to and headed out!

We met some physical needs. But in the course of the errand, we were able to connect with other areas as well. It gave us additional insights into our kiddos that we will continue to cultivate and help them discover and grow.

Of course, those were moments. Mixed between the ongoing learning experiences that not everyone buys something just because we all go together, of keeping track of them in the crowds, and reminding them that hungry tummies will be filled, but they may need to wait just a bit (and reminding that same kiddo of the snack they turned down earlier because they weren't hungry). But those moments woven in over time are what we strive for and are central to our family unit.

She’s off!

She’s off! Seeing those kiddos take off for the first time beings such a rush of joy and excitement. I can’t stop smiling watching her. We’re big believers in the balance bikes (we used it for all four kiddos) and they were all riding by 3. 

This gal took her first “pedal bike ride” to the school and back to pick up her sisters. And her  crossing guard friend was so exited to see her go. It was so fun listening to her engage with Abby, and Abby was just beaming.

As a side note - I’d originally set a personal “Mom goal” that she’d be on pedals by the end of the school year, and then changed it to “after spring break.” I set little goals like that to give myself permission to be deliberate and to just practice a little with her every day. Not to pressure her into a deadline, but just to be mindful of using our time and what we are progressing toward. And here she is - off and riding a week before the start of spring break. Once again showing her personal determination, capacity and grit.

And we are loving watching her go!

Sunday Thoughts: Growing Light

Oh goodness, we really look forward to the Sabbath day. Attending church fuels our spirits, and I'm grateful for the moments woven in throughout the day that remind us of Christ. With the weather this time of year, we're able to spend time together as a family outdoors, and that feels like such a gift to enjoy together as a family. It doesn't mean that everything goes smoothly - we actually (for the first time I ever remember) forgot to set our alarm clocks for day light savings, but thankfully still woke up early enough that we were able to make it out the door. Our youngest seems to go through more clothing changes on Sunday morning than any other day - I've had her pick out her outfit the night before, but it seems to just add more "options" the morning of. It's always a juggle with everyone and different opinions, and sometimes I wonder if we'll ever actually make it into the car, but we never regret it. Once, after I saw this particular image representing Christ - those penetrating eyes of light, complimented by the warmth and kindness of his smile - I visualize this is exactly how he feels as we are imperfectly striving to follow His example. We don't get it all right, but we were never meant to either. I can't help but reframe my mindset from whatever I might be stressing over and just feel His light every time I think about this image.

Today, we chatted after church about light - what it feels like to share light, what it feels like when we see light in others, and what it feels like when we grow light in ourselves. We're often surprised at how much these kiddos ponder things far beyond the "every day" stuff and feel like we're typically the one learning more than the one teaching.

In our chats, the scripture that kept coming to mind was "let your light shine." Shine is part of our family motto, and it's a scripture we refer to often. Today, the word "let" kept coming up as the central focus of our conversation. 

That sometimes "letting" ourselves be the light, or receive light, or share light can be the toughest part. Sometimes fear wants to take over - fear of doing the wrong thing, judgment from others, or other fears. Sometimes we hold back because we feel like we don't need to "let" light in and that we can keep doing things on our own. We chatted how visualizing our light within us and sharing that light with others can help us overcome things that might otherwise feel fearful.

As I've pondered this today, it seems that to "let" light in, it takes acts of humility, kindness, love and connection and all kinds of other attributes that center on Christ. 

But gosh, that can be tough. It can be so much easier to sit in the space of pride, anger, resentment or thinking that we need to control someone else, or someone else needs to change before we can let light in.

I can think of many times - big and small - where I've swung on the pendulum of both ends.

But that little word - "let" - so divinely inspired. So much to grow and learn from within that one word.

I'm going to focus on that word - "let" our light shine. No matter how small or simple. 

We wanted to remember some questions Alexis brought with her to FHE along with a little talk/experience she wrote:

*How do you feel light in your life?

*What is an experience when you felt your light grow?

*What are some things you can do to grow more light in your life?

So much wisdom, so much light. Grateful to have a front row seat to watch this growth unfold.

The growth of spring

Okay, I had to laugh at myself. The amount of pictures I've taken of blooms, plants, green grass, and pretty much anything that resembles spring is a little ridiculous. Clearly I'm excited. But honestly, I LOVE seeing the growth and feeling the change in the air. Not going to lie, I actually really do enjoy winter, but those final weeks of winter are such a struggle. The days seem endless, we've done everything I feel like I 'want' to do in winter, and I hit a point where I'm tired of the cold!

And seeing these photos made me realize I should have a little more love for those final weeks of winter. The toughest part of the season (for me) is simultaneously developing the whole new chapter - spring! I just can't see it yet.

The funny thing about spring is the actual growth behind what I'm seeing happens much sooner than I can see it. Those little buds are hard at work long before they become buds. Change happens deep within the roots that triggers a series of progression. Plants are growing long before we see the beauty transpire.

Which makes me ask:

"What unseen growth happens in my life?"

I've found that change is usually kinda hard. Okay, sometimes it's really hard. And if change doesn't happen on 'my timeline' I'm frustrated. I'm ready to throw in the towel. If I don't see a result, why continue trying?

In my experience, there are loads of times where I've started something new only to feel foolish. So many setbacks. Failures. Trials. And oodles of weeds to work through.

I remember when we decided our oldest was 'old enough' to start reading scriptures as a family. He was two, and we thought bedtime would be a great way to finish the day. It was a habit we wanted to create, and while it seemed like a good idea, we soon found it fell far from any expectation. I picked up the picture/story version of the scriptures and imagined he'd sit on my lap while we read. In actuality, he rolled all over the floor, jumped, tore the pages, ran all over the room and did anything but listen. I was frustrated. If we were doing something that seemed right, why wasn't it working? It would have been super easy to shelf that idea for a future 'someday.'

Wisely, the Lord has reminded me again and again of this scripture. I think because I need to hear it. Over and over. And I've learned (over and over), the truth behind it is very real:

"Now you may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6

Often change and growth are both small and simple.

In the case of reading scriptures together, it was simple: change our approach. Instead of fighting against who he was, or giving up completely, we could choose to learn how to embrace where he was at. As an active guy, he wanted to participate. Through trial (and error), we learned he LOVED acting out the scenes and loved listening if we told the story and pointed to the pictures rather than reading the words directly. Over time, as he became more familiar (and older), he began to tell the stories. Gradually, he began to sit and listen. As other children were added into the 'bedtime routine,' he welcomed the opportunity to act out stories for them. Now, with a habit of family scripture study (while we still do miss nights from time to time), I'm grateful for his reminders to get us back on track.

Looking back, there have been loads of fails in the process (and I have no doubt this will be an ongoing continual work in progress - especially as schedules continue to change and kiddos grow). But, had I completely stopped all efforts, and 'shelved the idea' for when it would be right, I wonder when the 'right time' would have (if ever) happened. I know we would have missed out on those sweet memories of foam swords and laughter (he loved acting out the battle scenes the most).

Just as much as I seem to never grasp the complexity behind a simple beautiful springtime blossom, I don't think I'll ever fully grasp how much the Lord guides and lifts in small and simple ways. It's humbling to think how thoughts build on one another like an individual blossom. Choosing to listen and take action on those thoughts - no matter how small - are what build those blossoms into the framework of an entire tree.

Small and simple is a lesson I am continually learning from. Life is FULL of springtime. There is so much good. So much warmth and growth happening. I simply need to remember to see it.

First Day of School

Just like that summer is over and school has started. And, just like that I have a little guy who's not-so-little anymore. Big enough to have a long list of needed school supplies. Big enough for heading off to school everyday. Big enough to make his own bed. And big enough to ride the bus.

I have to admit. I had some concerns about actually standing at the bus stop and letting him tackle the first day of heading to class solo. But then I felt lucky, since he's at the same bus stop with some classmates. So, as parents we gave them the best advice we could. "Just stick together and you'll be fine." Knowing that they had cute name tags didn't hurt either.

And, just like that, we were waiting back at the bus stop when all of them managed to get off.

Definitely hitting that point where I feel like he's at a crossroads. Big enough for so much, but still little enough for so much too. Little enough to still sit on my lap when he wants. Little enough to still need a stool to reach the faucet. Little enough to still love Curious George. Little enough to still think his parents are so cool and funny.

While the first day of kindergarten can make a parent have another one of those moments where they see every moment of their child flash by in an instant, no tears were shed by me. I'll just relish in the thrill of the present.

Like getting Alexis to stop crying. She managed to cry every morning for a solid week. Randomly breaking into tears "I want to go to kindergarten!" "I want to go with Max!" This guy is her world, and the thought of spending time solo just wasn't on her agenda. But after a week, she's started to realize the one-on-one time with mom isn't so bad either.

What does Max think of the whole heading to kindergarten? He comes home happy, energetic, and excited to go back. Details are scattered, information comes in snippets, but from what I gather, he's made some new friends, listens well, thinks the library inside school is awesome, and loves it when they get to play freeze tag at the gym.



The first pic I took makes me laugh. His eyes were in the direction of the street - he didn't want to miss the bus!

Snapped these of sis later that day. Clearly feeling more cheery after hanging out with mom!

Training

Earlier this month, an annual yoga training (for yoga instructors) came into town, and I jumped on the chance to go.

It was amazing. I love spending all day learning about something only to realize how much more I actually don't know. It's fantastic to be in a room with people from all walks of life. Combinations of individuals who'd you'd never meet otherwise (Minneapolis is a big "hub" place - so people came to this training from all over - New York, Florida, even England!), but within a few minutes can talk endlessly about not only a shared love for yoga, but a love to share it with others. We had a great presenter who engaged not only the information in the text, but shared unique and fantastic added info that I scribbled everywhere I could find a white space.

Then there's enjoying the energy of downtown Minneapolis. Heading out on a lunch break to an old-bank-turned-sandwich-shop, complete with an outdoor patio, literally sandwiched between two skyscrapers was wonderful. Not to mention an hour of uninterrupted adult conversation.

Don't get me wrong. I love my usual lunchtime conversations. "Hey, mom, did you see that spider on the ceiling?" "Hey, mom, watch how I can drink out of my cup like Kermit (then tries to lap it up our dog)." "Hey, Alexis, are you going to eat all of your chips?" "Mom, what kind of bird is that out on our deck? I think it's a ___" (and actually, thanks to his time spent birdwatching from our back window, he's actually right most of the time)!

No, really. I do. I think it's hilarious to see what comes out of those minds. And I love that Alexis copies her brother to a tee. Down to demonstrating her new ways to drink out of a cup, which then turn into spilled drinks all over the floor. Oh well. That's what towels are for, right?

But, as much as I love and cherish this chapter, I know there is more to me than mom. I know that while my hubby, kiddos and my faith are my top threes, teaching fitness is right up there. I've never viewed the opportunity I have to teach fitness, whether it is yoga, cycling, pilates, bootcamp, Balletone, as a job. It's an outlet, a fun hobby and a great way to build relationships with people.

I'm so grateful for the chance of continuing education, and for the awesome hubby who makes it possible for me to do what I do. It feels like a recharge of the battery, filling the mind with all kinds of new ideas and concepts.

Coming home after a full day of work, and seeing the kids out on the deck, eating hot dogs with dad for dinner, their faces plastered with the biggest smiles, was just like icing on the cake. Too bad I didn't grab the camera.

Preschool....Day 1

I think Mike was pretty happy when I finally picked out a preschool for Max. I can't tell you how many times during our first couple of weeks here I kept analyzing the options. I think I just felt like I was so far behind the curve (everyone that has someone in preschool knows this is typically done in January - not late July/August). But, after some great recommendations, we finally picked one out. His first day was great.

I feel like a bit of a sob - after taking him in, I got all teary eyed thinking how much and how quickly he's grown. Then, I got more teary eyed as I thought "this is it - next year is kindergarten," and then thinking about how much older he'll be next year made me even more teary eyed.

Parenting is the funniest thing. I feel like I can go through the entire gamut of emotions in something as simple as dropping your son off for preschool. Am I ready for him to go back? You bet. Am I thrilled that he's socializing? You bet.

But, I guess there will always be that "mom" element, that when I see this tall, red headed boy walking confidently into the classroom, I'll instantly picture this tiny newborn in my arms on his very first day one. And, then I think I'll always feel the surge of memories and emotions in fast forward that have brought me to the present moment and then my heart just floods open thinking about all that he has to give to this world and what his future holds.

Dang it. Just typing this thing is making me all teary eyed again. Well, if you've read this far, you know my point of this post was to announce that he has started preschool. So there. Preschool has begun.

Feels good to be sore

I caved. I thought I could hold off until I picked up another teaching spot, but after one-month-without-a-gym-pass, I just couldn't do it. This was my first stint without a gym pass since - jeez, before I was 18. I'd been doing some early morning short runs (with Kermit alongside), and they had been okay, but they just weren't cutting it. I'll be honest. I just don't love to run. I respect those who can pound the pavement for miles on end, but I'll be the first to admit that I am not one of them. Maybe it's all the years of dancing and the work I did on my feet and knees, and with every pound, I feel like I just want to save what is left of those joints for my later years.

Maybe it's just that I love the variety of a good class - doing some of this, some of that, being forced to concentrate and think about what and how you're doing it. Maybe it's moving to the music (again, the dance background) that I love. Or that bit of competition that I feel, standing in a room full of people, knowing that I can push a little harder, and keep moving because they are (Don't get me wrong, Kermit enjoyed the chase to catch a fellow jogging boxer and owner every morning)! Or that I just like being surrounded by people - listening and talking and building relationships.

Or, maybe it was this conversation:

Max: "Hey mom, what are we going to do tomorrow?" (the question I get every night)

Mom: "I have a few ideas - how about checking out a new park or something?"

Max: "Think you could get me a pass to the gym again? I really liked going to the Sandy gym."

Mom: long pause, quietly laughing that my four year old just asked for a gym pass. Realizing that maybe this is a good thing for all of us. "You're right, we should get a gym pass again."

Max: "Yeah, 'cause I really want to get my exercises done with the kids while you're at your class. I think I want to wear my exercise shoes." (in other words, "I really like to run around with the kids, mom - I'm a pretty social guy.")


So, he talked me into it. It reminded me how much I love group fitness classes, and how much I look forward to teaching them again.

Ah, we all have those constant battles and struggles of what and what not to do. Am I selfish to make this part of our routine? Should I allow my kids to be exposed to all kinds of germs and other kids who may or may not be as nice? The questions could go on and on.

I can't answer them for everyone, but I can say that Max has loved that time and has helped him build confidence in making new friends in any type of environment. And, I'll never forget this post. Alexis has built confidence in the time that she's been there. And, I can say that their sicknesses that they have had, haven't really stemmed from the gym (knock on wood). Now, church nursery, well that's just a whole other thing.

Without a doubt, I can say that I am a better mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter - okay - person when I go to classes. I can't begin to describe how fulfilling my fourish years of teaching has been - and how humbling it was to talk to the members as I was leaving, and hear them tell me how much I've helped them in their fitness goals, and in their live experiences. Things that I never heard or saw at the time.

My first teaching gig starts up in a few more weeks (wahoo!), at least until then I can enjoy the limbo time a little more - at the gym!

Tball, oh boy.

Max had his first tball game tonight. Definitely an experience that probably falls somewhere in the category of organized chaos. It's hilarious and completely enjoyable to watch those kiddos with their little mits chasing after and piling up for the same ball. It's even better watching them run in every direction after hitting their ball (Max, on his first run, headed straight to second base!).

What did Max think of the whole experience? I'd say the little man managed to work out the whole rainbow of emotions. Every time someone else caught the ball, Max would cry hysterically and run over to me completely frustrated that he didn't get there first. Tears streaming down his face, he was so upset that he couldn't catch the ball. I let him calm down, and then sent him back out there. Another ball hit, another teammate caught the ball, and Max would again come running over, ready to pack up and head home because he couldn't get there first. This kept up for all 12 hits of the opposing team. Max even managed to throw a true sport tantrum - throwing his hat and mit into the ground and stomping with disappointment.

Things definitely improved when he had his turn up for bat. Hitting the ball, running the bases (once he made it back to first) definitely proved to be fun.

Then, his team was back out on the field. I'd hoped that after the first "inning", he'd be a bit more realistic with his expectations of getting the ball. Nope. Ball one from the opposing team and the meltdown came. Ball two, and Max ran over telling me he'd rather run to the top of a distant grass hill than keep playing baseball. I then introduced the obvious solution that any parent would do. A run to the top of the hill after the game if there were no more tears. Face and nose wiped and he was back out on the field. At this point, Max had become a bit of a celebrity among the parents, as the funny kid who flipped out every time someone else caught the ball. By ball three, his coach, catching wind of this whole experience, casually threw another ball out in Max's direction at the same time the other ball was hit. And he caught it! His tank was then filled with excitement and confidence - that he could catch the ball! Coach kept this up through the remaining batters, and sometimes Max would get it, sometimes he wouldn't. Finally, by the end, he actually stayed on the field and didn't completely flip out when he missed the catch.

Second time up to hit the ball, he even figured out which way to run, and was a pretty happy camper.

Game over, and we made the run over to the hill.

For me, I'm thrilled that we made it through the game. If it hadn't been for our neighbors, helping out with crazy Alexis (who, on top of it all, screamed almost the entire game because she just wanted to be out there on the field), I probably would have had been the third one out there screaming with frustration.

Looking back on this event, it was interesting to see how different of an experience sports and participation with peers can be every kid.

Expectations? I'm hoping for the next games to mellow out a bit. Hopefully enough that I can snap a few pictures.

Your welcome to come, but just know, I'll probably be enlisting you for help.

Oh how I love this strong willed boy!

A new chapter

We are officially starting a new chapter and moving to Minneapolis!

Mike's company contacted him a few months ago with this opportunity which gave us some time to really dig in and research it before signing the papers. When he first told me about the promotion I knew two things about Minnesota:

1. It gets dang cold.
2. There are lots of lakes.

Everything else was a blank - I actually had to grab a map to remind myself where Minneapolis is located!

The past few months have definitely brought a great opportunity to learn more about the area, his job and the type of family environment. While it'd be easy to stay exactly where we are - in our neighborhood and living close to family, we also see this move away from our comfort zone as a big opportunity for personal, family and professional growth. Obviously, we will miss being close to everyone we love. And, we know and recognize that this is a big change for our whole family, not only now but in future years. But, we truly feel blessed with this opportunity and confident that this is a path we should take in our journey of life.

Thanks to the internet, books and our brief trip in late January, I now know a few additional facts (and found my first two to be correct!):

3. Known as the Twin Cities with the Mississippi river flowing between. It's largely German and Scandinavian ancestry. So, we'll fit right in.
4. Bicycling magazine just named it the top cycling city in the US (it beat Portland!). Amazingly, the article even talks about all of the cycling done in the cold, cold winter!
5. The Mall of America attracts more visitors annually than the Grand Canyon, Disney World and Graceland combined. This is Max's favorite thing to read about (no, not a shopper, but thrilled to think about an amusement park being indoors).
6. By nature of a bigger city, loads of museums, events, etc. to keep busy.
7. Home to one of the highest per capita parkland places in the country. Probably due to #2. Lakes are everywhere! And they are used year round. Obvious activities in the water, but there are a bunch of "beach" lakes full with playgrounds, and trails - both for walking and biking. While we were up there in the winter, we were amazed at everyone cross country skiing across the lakes, cycling and walking around on the trails. Not to forget the ice fishing - at least one person drives their car/truck onto one of the lakes too late in the season and it falls in.
8. Thought to have been visited by the Vikings. This is Max's second favorite thing to read about. I think he secretly hopes Vikings will actually still be there when we move.
9. Great public schools. Many of the school districts are ranked extremely high nationally. It's been nice reading about this and hearing it from people we've talked with as Max will be starting into the school system the fall of 2011.
10. We will remain Jazz fans. Sorry, Timberwolves.

I could go on, but I feel like I'm starting to sound like one of those tourist books.

So the house goes up for sale relatively soon, and we start the official house hunting fun in the upcoming weeks as well. If you see any deals on extremely warm winter clothing, please pass them our way.

A few shots I took while we were there in January. This is a bike/walk only bridge over the Mississippi.
A different bridge shot.
A distance shot of the ice fishing on one of the lakes we drove by.


Let the adventure begin...

One Year

I've failed to mention that our little baby girl turned a year!

Favorite noise: Growling - it was one of the first sounds she started to make (of course that would have nothing to do with BB Max pretending he's a dinosaur). It's hilarious when she crawls after Kermit growling at him. He just looks at her, and then at me, like she's crazy.

Favorite food: Oranges. And, anything that Max is eating.

Favorite toy: Anything that Max is playing with. Every morning she'll crawl as fast as she can into his room to check out his toys. I'll strategically move "her" toys in there so she'll think they are fun too.

Developmental Milestones: Not quite walking yet, but she likes to be walked everywhere. Max loves to cheer her along (while simultaneously trying to teach her red light/green light!) - he wants her walking more than anyone!
Weight: 25% percentile Height: 75% percentile

New ride. No ride.

It's 2:00pm, Saturday afternoon. I should be trying to catch my breath after riding my guts out for 50 minutes at the cyclocross race in Heber. Instead I just put my little girl down for a nap and Maxman is in his room playing with his dinosaurs. Yep, no race today. One thing that I've learned in my 7 years of being married is that marriage is a game of give and take. Sara has been on the "give" side so many times throughout the years of me training for Lotoja or some other bike race, that when she asked me to stay home with the kiddos today so she could take a yoga certification class, I knew what was the right thing to do. I actually love playing with the little guys! They are a lot of fun, and with Max riding his own pedal bike now, we can go out and ride our bikes, together! Fun stuff!

It's probably not a bad thing that I didn't race today. I've been in Denver all week attending work meetings and didn't ride the bike once. I would have gotten smoked for sure! Next week will be better. I'm taking pretty much the whole week off and should have plenty of saddle time.

I've also been meaning to post some pics of my new ride! Yes, I am the proud owner of a brand-spankin' new Sabrosa crosser! I'm so stoked! I've actually had the frame for quite a while now, it has just taken longer than I thought to get it all built up the way I like it! If you don't know about Jon from Sabrosa, you will soon! He is definitely an up-and-comer on the hand-built bike scene and his craftsmanship is second-to-none! Like many other custom bike builders, he's starting to amass quite the wait for one of his frames. If you want one, you better get on the list quick! You won't be disappointed! He's in the middle of updating his website, but in the meantime, check out his blog for more info and pics of his handy work!

Here are some pics:

2008: A Year of Change!

Since finishing my MBA, I have had a lot of time to think about what I will do with my "extra" time this year. Obviously, the bulk of that time will be spent with my little guy Max and my wife Sara. But I'd like to make this year a year of change. A year where I get off the couch and do some of the things I have wanted to do but have never done. So many of us get caught up with work, school, or whatever and say to ourselves "Oh, I'll have time to do that later". Newsflash! We're not getting any younger! Mark Twain once said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” So, with Mark Twain's wise words in mind, here are few things I hope to accomplish this year:

1. Change jobs. Actually, I already did this. Tomorrow I start my first day as the Industrial Packaging Business Unit Sales Manager for xpedx, Salt Lake City. Even though I truly enjoyed my five years as a Sales Professional, I am excited to start this new job and I look forward to the many challenges that I will face.

2. Do more racing. I've always wanted to race but I have always let lame excuses get in the way. "Oh, I'm just not in good enough shape", or "I'll have time to race later". Well, enough excuses. Cat 4 here I come. Hopefully Kelsey and Scott will follow suit.

3. Do more reading. Anyone who knows me well knows that reading isn't my thing. I'm much more of a picture guy. This year I want to expand my knowledge base, no matter what the subject!

4. Go on a week long fishing trip with my dad. We haven't done this in quite a while and we need to re-start the tradition!

5. Get my dad involved in cycling. He got a road bike for Christmas. I need to make it my personal responsibility to get him hooked on riding his new pony!

6. Spend more time with family and friends. I'm lucky to have so many family members and good friends so close by. At the end of the day, no matter how hard life gets, you always have family and friends. I need to take advantage of that!

Light at the end of the tunnel

When I embarked on the journey of getting my MBA, I never thought the end would come. Now that I'm so close to finishing, I'm going crazy! I like the classes I have right now, I mean I've always kind of liked mergers and acquisitions, but let's just say I WANT IT TO END!!!!. Scott, Kels, and Kerry are heading down to San Jorge next week for some unbelievable riding with Jon from Sabrosa. I'm am so jealous. I really wish I could just sneak out for a day or two but there is no way to fit it into my schedule. Next month I am going to celebrate my graduation by heading out to DC to visit DNR and Lorider. I'm bummed there will be no cross races out there during that time. I kind of wanted to test my skillz with the Eastsidaz. Oh well.

Scott and I ventured out to ride some nice singletrack today with Pat from Timp CX and Joe Gardner. The hills of Draper have never been so nice this late in the year. We missed you KP! I'm sure you missed us as well.

Next week for CX I think I'm going to try the singlespeed class. I'll probably get smoked but it'll be nice to get a change of scenery.